March 03, 2005
i'm gonna cook a pig
Fuck steve H.. I know how to cook a pig and I think I'm going to do one at Jekyll Island. I have a shovel, some nice oak wood, four cinder blocks and a big piece of stainless steel checkerboard expanded metal. I'll put a rub on that bastard pig, cook him all night long and DARE Steve to tell me that it's not good, when his mouth is full and pork grease is running down his chin.
If he says it's NOT good, I'll order my minions to throw HIM in the fire, goddamit! I can cook a fucking pig. It'll be the best pork you ever tasted, and I don't need any exotic smoker to do it, either. Wood, a hole in the ground and some patience. That's all it takes.
Well, you need a PIG, too, but I'll make sure we have one of those.
All content © Rob Smith