Gut Rumbles

February 04, 2005

my ass

All I have to say to this is BULLSHIT!!!

"And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it."

B = Babe
I = In
T = Total
C = Control of
H = Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything

I have other ideas. Try this one:

B= bloodless
I= insidious
T= twat
C= cunt
H= harridan


B= brainless
I= insipid
T= treacherous
C= conscienceless
H= hired a lawyer


B= brutal
I= ignorant
T= tits, and not much else
C= cunning, like a cat
H= hormone-riddled devil witch

I could go on, but it wouldn't prove anything. I just know what I know from past experience. Any woman who brags about being a bitch is one you don't want to touch with a ten-foot pole. I touched two with a much shorter pole and lost two houses, one child, over $100,000, four goats, 28 chickens, my job and half of my 401-K TWICE.

Be a bitch. That's something to be proud of, the way guys like to be known as worthless bastards.

I remember two things Jennifer told me before we married. First, she could never forgive me if I cheated on her. That was a crime beyond any redemption. Second, she could never forgive me if I hit her. I saw no problem with that deal. I was faithful and I never hit her.

SHE, on the other hand went into whore-mode on me and fucked her brains out WITH one of my friends IN FRONT of my other friends. Then, she hit me with every kind of divorce lawsuit on the books. THAT'S my definition of a bitch.

Bitch means "I make the rules, but they don't apply to ME."


Well, if she thinks she's "beautiful," we need to fit "delusional" in there somewhere as well. I agree with you, Rob - they like to make the rules, as long as THEY don't have to abide by them.

Posted by: maggot on February 4, 2005 02:41 PM

Amen. I've never understood why any woman would be proud to be called a bitch. I have no problem BEING a bitch...but that's not how I define myself nor my existence.

I would much prefer to be addressed as 'Her Royal Highness', thank you very much ;-)

Posted by: Chablis on February 4, 2005 05:04 PM

Aw, c'mon, Rob. It's just entertainment. Just another pastie. But thanks for the link! And, of course, I still love you.

For where my heart really is, read the Story of Six Boys. OoooRah

Posted by: Indigo on February 4, 2005 05:49 PM

Go Indigo.

I get it.

Of all insults, we'll take that one without being HURT. We don't ask for it, but we can easily recover from it, just as you can easily recover from being called an asshole.

The same isn't true with words that begin with a c or a w...we don't like those. They cut very deep.

(Incidentally, when I dined at Dick's, Myrtle Beach - where servers are tipped extra to insult the customers - I was outfitted with a huge paper hat that read "BITCH." I have pics somewhere...)

Posted by: Key on February 4, 2005 10:12 PM

I just bought my way out for $70,000 cash plus another net $30,000 in property plus nearly dying along the way. It was well worth it, and cheap compared to what I lost through 20 years of attrition and profigate waste, and compared to what I have left, not the least of which are my teenage children.

My wife was not really a bitch, she was worse psychologically, having the equivalent of borderline personality disorder most of the time, if that is possible, punctuated with periods of actually being inspired and praiseworthy, lasting for a few days at a time here and there. It was quite a show! She's still at it, but not with me to wag. I still don't know what to call her.

Posted by: Ga-ne-sha on February 4, 2005 10:13 PM
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