Gut Rumbles

January 27, 2005


I've done shit like this. And the truth is, it tasted pretty good. What I didn't eat, the dog did and he liked it, too. Neither one of us died.

Hell, I see fast-food workers wearing laytex gloves and plastic hairnets and surgical masks while they prepare absolute JUNK for you to eat. That's all part of the pussification of America, because I know damn well what I did with a sirlion steak I hiked into the Cahutta Wilderness with me on one trip.

That fucker fell off my cook-stick and landed in the fire. I dragged it out with a stick, dusted off all the shit I could from the outside, and then ate it like a cave man. It was kinda crunchy on the outside, from ashes and bits of wood, but it wasn't half-bad.

NO WAY would a woman have eaten that steak. It would have been too "gross" for her.

Wimmen worry about germs. Men worry about starving.


Thanks for the link. Truth be told, it's amazing what people will do when they're hungry, and I'm not necessarily talking about food.

Posted by: Sam on January 27, 2005 08:44 PM

But there you go with another blanket statement, A-Man:
"NO WAY would a woman have eaten that steak."
How do you know this? How many women did you ask? I know for certain you didn't ask me - AND I WOULD HAVE EATEN IT!!!! Anyone else?

Posted by: Indigo on January 27, 2005 11:54 PM

Forget the latex gloves. Where can I get me one of them caulk guns full of sour cream the little Latina was shootin' into the foods pieces at Taco Bell?

Posted by: BlogDog on January 28, 2005 12:25 AM

I sure would have eaten it... it must suck to have your female point of reference as shallow, money grubbing, whiney little bitches. Seems to me the women you know just from blogging (ie indigo, key, kelley, mama, queenie, etc etc) would prove to you that, just like men, there are ones worth having... and ones best left alone.

Posted by: PamelaRN on January 28, 2005 05:48 AM

I would have eaten the steak too. If a woman will swallow a load of spooge, an ashy steak aint nothin but a walk in the park. Would a load of spooge be too "gross" for you?

Posted by: Susie on January 28, 2005 08:22 AM

Up to a certain point the more "manly" a woman is mentally, the better, imho. But I don't know if many woman would say that the more "womanly" up to a certain point a man is mentally, the better - excluding male chauvinist pigs from the consideration because they are not manly to begin with, except for Rob.

Eating spooge is definitely not manly in my book, so I can reject the challenge to try it on principle, thank God.

But I don't know if I have just now reached a crisis point in having to consider whether a woman's not eating spooge is too manly for me.

I think I better leave it up to the woman rather than me now being forced to try it, descretion being the better part of valor, and also the better part of crow-eating double standards.

Posted by: Ga-ne-sha on January 28, 2005 01:42 PM

A-Man --

I'm with Indigo and the other gals. It's just a little natural seasoning, after all.

Jeeze, man. You've really got to meet some better examples of womanhood.

Posted by: Omnibus Driver on January 28, 2005 02:15 PM

Alan and I were barbequing a while back, and as he went to flip a piece of salmon that was stuck to the grill, his prying efforts flipped that salmon off our deck! It landed in the parking lot 2 floors below.

Of course, he raced outside with a plate and scooped it up before anyone drove over it.....and had no problem eating it......gravel and all!

Posted by: DogsDon'tPurr on January 28, 2005 10:03 PM

Wimmen worry about germs. Men worry about starving.

And this, my friend, is why the fucking species go beat your chest and kill the food and bring it home to mama, and she makes sure you don't die from e-coli after you eat it. It's a yin-yang thing, man. Part of the deep-structure hunter-gatherer yadda yadda yadda.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go have a tantrum, get hysterical behind it, and pass the fuck out. Queenie has left the building.

Posted by: Queenie on January 28, 2005 10:59 PM
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