Gut Rumbles

October 01, 2004


I worked for a long time with a guy named Joe, who stuttered badly. (Catfish--guess who I'm talking about. YOU played poker with him, too.) He was a lab supervisor and when you first met him, you'd wonder how in the hell this dumbass ever rose to a supervisory position. That's what I thought until the first time I played poker with him.

Joe was the first "Rope a Dope" I ever encountered in my life. Yeah, he stuttered, but he wasn't a dumbass. In fact, he was sharp as a tack. He studied every angle and he knew what he was doing all the time. You never SAW that fact until it was too late. He already had you fucked by the time you realized what was happening. I think he used that stuttering, dumbass facade to his advantage. People tended to underestimate Joe, until he lowered the boom on them.

In some ways, I believe that George Bush does the same thing. I've gotten a lot of emails telling me that Kerry was "brilliant" in the debate last night and George came across as an "idiot" without his handlers around him. I call BULLSHIT on that.

George Bush reminds me a lot of Joe. Call him an idiot all you want to. Then, see who comes out on top every time. That ain't no goddam accident, and if you believe that it is, you're just setting yourself up for another fall. Slick talkers don't always make tall walkers.

And the "idiots" aren't always as stupid as you think they are.


Kerry looked like a pompous ass metrosexual who just had a manicure and a strong dose of hairspray. Kerry lied his ass off and GWB let him get away with much of it. GWB looked like he could've used a good strong cup of coffee to wake up with.

Bush could've been better and sharper, but at his worst, Bush beats that lying, phony sack of shit traitor on his worst day.

Bush - 1
Kerry - 0

Posted by: Brent on October 2, 2004 12:27 AM

I'm so glad we have debates. Bush looked like a confused chimp or a deer in the headlights. can't tell which. It was great to see someone finally call GW on all his bullshit to his face. He isn't used to an environment where everyone isn't cheering him on. I bet he pays people to cheer for him when he takes a dump. Isn't democracy wonderful?

Posted by: Graham on October 2, 2004 02:46 AM

Bush had just gotten back from an exhausting trip to Florida where he met with hurricane victims. That's what I'd heard about why he may have looked tired.

Compare a hard working President to a french fop? Ha. Don't bother.

Kerry doesn't stand a chance and I'll be voting R to prove the point.

Posted by: horse with no-- on October 2, 2004 04:49 AM

Graham is an idiot. Bush looked that way on purpose. It reinforced the fact that the job is difficult and tiring, and only someone as resolute as Bush can do it. John "cut and run" Kerry could never do the job the way it's supposed to be done.

Posted by: Denise on October 2, 2004 05:42 AM

It also didn't help that news got out that Kerry had a manicure before the debate.

Still, I've used a similar tactic in other situations. I know how to do the glazed stare and slap on my Carolina accent as much as I can. I do it in one-off situations, when I'm in the company of strangers I'm never likely to meet again.

Still, it's quite a trick for Bush to keep up, given that idiots aren't allowed to fly fighter jets or go to Harvard Business School - and that Bush has done these has long been public knowledge. Maybe people figured alcohol and/or drug use damaged his brain since then, so that he =might= have been smart once upon a time, but now he's a chimp. Yeah, whatever. It's not like he was a boxer.

Posted by: meep on October 2, 2004 07:30 AM

Hi Rob, thanks for the kind words, now fuck off, Cat.

Posted by: Catfish on October 2, 2004 08:14 AM

Jim Lehrer is the loser of the "debate" in my mind. If you read his questions to each candidate, in order, you can't help but acknowledge the obvious setup. Not ONE QUESTION about Kerry's post Vietnam activities, lack of legislative legacy, flip-flops on issues, or abysmal voting record as it relates to national defense (one of the FEW things government is SUPPOSED to do). How can you have a debate on "foreign policy" without discussing the military and the long list of weapons programs Kerry has voted against over the years? Every question was designed to put the President on the defensive, while giving Kerry every opportunity to pile on the bullshit.

No media bias there, nosiree.

Posted by: tybee mike on October 2, 2004 02:11 PM

tybee-sooo true--and that ? to pres bush about how he would judge kerry's character??? how was w supposed to answer that??? media bias- fuck them- of course, lehrer is on pbs----public bull-shit- it DID show

Posted by: mikeymom on October 2, 2004 09:55 PM

Dumb like a fox. Mama always called it playin' possum. Yes, he did spend Thursday here in Lake Wales and over on the East Coast. Hot and exhausting. Yes, he let his emotions show - and I think it was EXACTLY the right thing to do.

Posted by: Tammi on October 2, 2004 10:40 PM

Dub-yuh is likely to be a 2-term prez. Just how "dumbass" could he be? Don't Texans say of a guy like JFKetchup...."all hat & no cattle"?

Posted by: Hap Arnold on October 3, 2004 11:23 AM

NEW BUMPER STICKER: "Slick talkers don't always make tall walkers" - I Love it!!!!

Posted by: Anastasia on October 4, 2004 02:45 PM

[In the 60's] there was madness in any direction, at any hour ... You
could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense
that whatever we were doing was `right', that we were winning ...

And that, I think, was the handle -- the sense of inevitable victory
over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we
didn't need that. Our energy would simply `prevail'. There was no
point in fighting -- on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum;
we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave ....

So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in
Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost
___see the high-water mark -- the place where the wave finally broke and
rolled back.
-- Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
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