Gut Rumbles
 

December 30, 2009

Stealing from work

Originally published August 27, 2004

I always found it interesting to see the number of flashlights and batteries that disappeared from the company store room when a hurricane was headed our way. I also found it interesting to notice how many pens and pencils and notebooks disappeared at the beginning of every school year. I knew what was happening.

People were stealing them to take home because they were too cheap to buy them with their own dimes. Nobody in charge seemed to give a shit.

After 24 years in that plant, I ended up with two yellow flashlights and a hard hat that I'll never wear again. The first flashlight I took from my belt one evening after I got home and forgot to take back to work the next day, so I ordered another one. (I needed a flashlight on my job.) I was wearing that one when I was fired retired. The hard hat I never gave back because I was barred from entering the plant again without a security escort and I refused to submit to that kind of humiliation.

I left everything in my office and told the person who CALLED ME about picking up my stuff to kiss my ass. I never stole a fucking THING from that plant in 24 years, at least not on purpose, and they wanted to treat me like a goddam felon. Why, I don't know, but I am certain that Kerr McGee has a written procedure about how to handle employees they just fucked over.

I received an email from my replacement about 10 days after I left the plant. He's a true Kerr-McGee kind of guy: "Rob. I have your job now. You had a nice larder in your office. I ate all your food and gave away the cigarettes you kept in the top desk drawer. Can I keep the jacket?"

I wrote him back and told him that he could not only keep the jacket, but he could jack off over that picture of Jennifer I had in the BOTTOM drawer of my desk. I kept food there because I often worked long hours and didn't know WHEN I might get home. I didn't want to run out of cigarettes, either. Hell, just ask her. She saw what I did at work and how many hours I spent there, only briefly, but she saw it just the same.

Do I sound bitter? GOOD!!! I mean to.

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