Gut Rumbles

May 21, 2009

Just so you know

Originally published March 8, 2004

Every time a sheriff came to visit me without warning last week, do you know what they DIDN'T find when they knocked on the door? They didn't discover me cavorting with nekkid wimmen (I'm sorry about that), they didn't see me whacking off to a porno movie, they didn't find me passed out drunk on the floor and they didn't catch me sucking on a bong-pipe.

They found me working on the computer or watching the news. They DID see a messy house with a lot of paperwork scattered on the floor, which is where I threw every new warrant as soon as it was served. It's a considerable pile now.

I probably ought to read some of that stuff, but I said to hell with it. I told my lawyer to settle everything, find out what the cunt wants and give it all to her. I can't win this fight and I am tired of the hassel. I just want to get the fucking I'm about to get over with.

Oh, yeah. My dog ran off, too.

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