December 18, 2008
I'm better... I think
Originally published December 14, 2005
As you can tell from the post below this one, I'm feeling more like my old self today. I arrived home from Statesboro last night at 8:30, fixed a nice supper--- spinach salad (with mushrooms and croutons), fried shrimp (with home-made cocktail sauce), baked potato (with sour cream and chives), and chocolate chip cookies for dessert, all washed down with decaffinated iced tea. I went to bed after supper and slept for eleven straight hours.
Got-dam! I NEEDED that!
Those weathered old bastards at AA were correct when they told me that lack of sleep had a way of curing itself when the body finally just wore out. I'm not going to say that I slept peacefully, because I had tumultuous dreams and the tangled sheets on my bed suggest that I conducted some kind of multiple-partner sex-orgy last night, but I DID sleep. And I feel pretty good today.
At the risk of boring people who don't give a shit, I'm going to admit something. I haven't had a drink of alcohol in 55 days. That may not sound like much, but it's the toughest thing I've ever done in my life.
My daughter called yesterday to see how I was getting along. I pissed and moaned about feeling bad and not being able to sleep. She said, "I know if ANYBODY has the will-power to stay sober, YOU do, Daddy."
I was happy that she felt that way, but I corrected her common misconception. Will power has very little to do with an alcoholic getting sober. If sobriety were just a matter of will-power, like deciding to get up from the couch and turn off the kitchen light, we wouldn't have so many folks drinking themselves to death. Earth People (non-alcoholics) don't understand this truth, but honest-to-Bejus DRUNKS do.
It ain't easy to re-invent yourself.
I'm beginning to feel more sympathy for fat people and cat-lovers now. Maybe THEY have a mental illness similar to alcoholism, where they are DRIVEN to over-eat or own a disgusting animal because their perversion is hard-wired in the brain. They can't HELP themselves.
Wait a minute. I'm getting carried away with evangelical zeal here. I may be able to sympathize with fat people, but CAT-LOVERS? Naw. That's stretching things too far. Cat lovers still need to be dragged off and shot, along with their cats.
I'm trying to re-invent myself, but I have only so much raw material to work with.
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