Gut Rumbles
 

August 22, 2008

I've been robbed!

Originally PUBLISHED June 08, 2005

Okay... I'm through bragging about what a crime-free neighborhood I live in. Sometime over the past two days, some shit-ass stole my propane cooker, my turkey-frying pot and my low-country boil pot. Right out of my driveway, next to the garage.

That stuff has been there for three years, used only when I wanted to fry a turkey or boil a bunch of peanuts. All together, it's probably about $100 worth of stuff, and the propane cooker needed a new regulator, but the principle of the thing really rips my ass. I've got no goddam use whatsoever for a thief.

Plus, that was one dumb sumbitch who did it. He (or she) must have hit while I wasn't at home--- because if I had heard them or seen them, they'd get a taste of a few imaginary gunshots. Would YOU risk your life for a propane cooker that didn't work right, an empty propane tank and two cheap-ass stainless steel pots? Some dumbfuck did.

I discovered this theft today when I was starting to assemble my moonshine still. I needed the low-country boil pot and I was going to buy a new regulator and a fresh tank of propane for my cooker. Every bit of that stuff was GONE, with only stains in the driveway to show where it had been.

I KNOW I saw that stuff a couple of days ago, because it was on my list of distilling equipment. At first, I figured that my neighbor, Henry, "borrowed" it without telling me. He's been known to do that before. I saw him come home today and walked across the street to ask him about it. He didn't have a clue. He's been in North Carolina for the past six days.

Big deal. I'll go into Rincon tomorrow and buy a brand-new outfit. But when I'm through using it this time, I'll store it in the garage instead of in my driveway. My "brandy" should be ready to cook on Friday.

Maybe somebody took it while I was visiting Catfish last week. I'll wager that it was some fucked-up kid, now that school is out. I hope the little bastard enjoys the fruits of his crime, because he damn sure didn't get much, at least not money-wise.

But he damn sure got my goat. I don't like it when people steal from me.

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