May 28, 2008
Originally PUBLISHED April 21, 2006
1) St. Patrick's Day. Savannah is a fairly conservative place, but once every year the city becomes a painted whore in full party mode. Drunken debauchery is the rule of the day, with a big parade thrown in for good measure. Port-o-Lets overflow with beer piss and downtown bars are standing room only. Lotsa sport fucking occurs that day and usually at least one person dies from falling into the Savannah River and drowning or toppling off a River Street railing to land head-first on the cobblestones below. Titty-flashing once was a popular activity, but police frowned on that practice, the bastids, and they started arresting wimmen who displayed their goodies. You don't see many bare titties anymore, but you can see LOTS of wimmen with half-masted pants, squatting to pee outside the overflowing Port-o-Lets. One of my fondest St. Patrick's Day memories is holding my wanger with my left hand and shaking hands with Savannah Mayor John Rossikas (sp?) with my right as we both pissed in a River Street alley and I told him that I never voted for his ass. Hizzoner was drunk as a skunk.
2) Movies. LOTS of movies besides Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil were filmed in Savannah and it's always a hoot to watch the finished product to see how many places and people you recognize. Remember the Burt Reynolds flick, Gator? A lot of that movie was shot on River Street, and Jerry Reed's "office" was in "The Other End" tavern, where I once played guitar and sang back in the day. I also saw River Street transformed into 1860s Boston for the movie Glory. There have been a bunch of others, but I'm too lazy to name them all.
3) Good Food. I don't care what kind of food you like--- you'll find it in Savannah. I love the fresh seafood myself, but you have lots of other options. Home cookin'? Try "Mrs. Wilkes' Boarding House." "The Lady & Sons" is good, too, but kinda pricey. "The Pirate's House" has a reputation a lot better than the food, but people like to eat there just to say that they did. "Ethnic" food? Name your poison. Hell--- my brother told me last weekend about a vegan Indian restaurant that's really good.
4) Oak Trees. Savannah was the first "planned city" in the country. James Oglethorpe laid out the downtown area in neat squares, which form little parks where people who work downtown go to eat lunch and feed the tree rats squirrels. The squares are filled with majestic live oaks draped in Spanish Moss that provide shade and beauty for lazy folks who like to sit on a park bench and vegetate for a while. It's VERY pretty.
Of course, once you leave the "planned" area, Savannah resembles something a kid put together when he was off his Ritalin, but I believe that every city has its urban sprawl and Savannah is no different. Just stay out of the "projects" after dark. There, from their government-subsidized, low-income housing, members of a downtrodden ethnic minority seek acceptance from a racist society by robbing and killing a lot of people, usually each other, but they'll occasionally prey greet an unwary tourist with the same hospitality. But if you simply MUST have your crack cocaine, that's the place to go.
There. Meme complete. Doesn't it make you want to visit Savannah?
All content © Rob Smith