April 11, 2008
Originally published August 9, 2003
I once was drinking beer with a DARK-SKINNED friend of mine (call him an African-American and you'd better to be ready to fight) after a round of golf and he was bitching about the grass in the rough. It was badass grass.
"It comes from Africa," I told him.
"Got-Damn! I KNEW IT!" he declared.
His children are named Susan and Anthony. He doesn't believe that he and his wife have any deep roots in Africa. They don't celebrate Kwaanza. They put up a Christmas tree the same way I do. He believes that he is an American. Period.
"The only good thing ever to come out of Africa was my forefather," my friend said. "Look at what we get now. Hurricanes. AIDS. That fucking grass in the rough. Nelson Mandela. Piss on Africa."
We went nine more holes and he ALMOST won back the money he owed me after the first eighteen. But he still had to slap leather at the end and pay for his perfidy.
"I'll get you NEXT TIME, ya goddam Cracker!" he promised, still nursing his wounded wallet.
I really liked playing golf with him. He's asked me several times lately to drag my clubs out of the garage and tee it up again, but I always say no. Shit, with my lack of practice, he'll beat me like a drum if I play him now. He's a good golfer.
My friend and I agree that a lot of bad things come out of Africa. But I submit that MORE bad things come out of California today. That is a fucked-up state. The citizens elected a governor that they KNEW wasn't worth a shit, then they want their own Magic Slate to erase that brain fart by recall.
Fuck 'em. You elected the asshole, now live with him for four years. I don't want this "Mulligan" mentality to spread. Most of the cancer that has eaten away the bedrock of this country came right out of granola-crunching, tree-hugging asswitted California, the certified nut-bowl of America.
I agree with the grouchy old cripple:
What really scares me is so much of what happens in this country starts in California. If this trend holds, in twenty years our country is doomed. And what is wrong with California is so obvious. The combination of liberalism and political correctness has so totally fucked up California, we would be better off just giving the state to Mexico. Fuck you California! You're just too fucked up for us to fuck with you.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
All content © Rob Smith