Gut Rumbles
 

April 07, 2008

Using the oven

Originally published May 17, 2003

I spent about an hour this morning baking baseball gloves in my oven. I am NOT making that shit up.

I took Quinton and Young Jack to Wal-Mart this morning for a shopping spree. They wanted baseball gloves and a bat, so I told them to get what they wanted. Jack picked out a $50 glove and I told him that he really didn't want THAT ONE, because the ones for $18 were just as good. He is gullible and he listened to me.

While the boys were selecting gloves, a woman walked up to me and said, "I've been doing this for years. I have FOUR boys. If you're going to buy them a glove, get some of THIS and follow the instructions. It works GREAT!" She showed me a can of some kind of spray-on softening agent. I bought it.

When we got home, the gloves were stiff the way new gloves always are. I used to work vasoline into mine for about a week to make my glove soft and flexible and waterproof and fit to catch with when I was a kid. Times have changed.

You can break in two gloves quickly today. Just spray one down with this stuff that looks like shaving cream when it comes out of the can, put it on a damp cloth on a cookie dish in the oven for four minutes and let the leather absorb all the foam. Pull that one out, put the second one in, and flex the hot glove every which way as soon as it's cool enough to handle. Then foam it up again, take the second glove out of the oven, put the first one back in, and repeat as necessary.

I broke in two baseball gloves to be as soft and as flexible as sheepskin in less than an hour today. I said, "Check THIS, guys!" and tossed the boys my handiwork. They praised the gloves, played catch for 15 minutes, then threw the gloves down and went out back to chase lizards in the woods.

The short attention-span little shits.

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