Gut Rumbles
 

March 31, 2008

Pornographic movie

Originally published August 1, 2003

Am I the only person ever to watch SEX TREK: THE NEXT PENETRATION? Am I the only person to watch that movie THREE TIMES? Back-to-back? (Well, there was a lot of front-to-front and front-to-back, side-to-side and even some really sick shit in that movie. I liked it for the articles.)

If you're a Trekker like me, you gotta love a big, overswollen dildo called the "Starship Betweenyourthighs" orbiting the planet Youranus. Captain Quirk is in command, aided by his close friends, Vulcan Lt. Sperm and Dr. McCoy (known as "Boner" to the captain.) Ensigns Screwyou and Jackoff man the helm. Lt. Youwhore controls the communication console. Yoman Randybitch waits for orders from the captain. Snotty runs the engine room and the transporter. Did I mention that there were a lot of nekkid chicks running around fucking anybody who would hold still?

Was I the only person ever to see that movie?

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