Gut Rumbles
 

March 08, 2008

Roscoe update

Originally published July 16, 2003

I am going to post one of these "updates" every day until I either get well or get laid. I am doing it ONLY to help others who someday may follow in my footsteps, so I now give of myself to relieve some of their suffering and doubt later. The thought that I satisfy a lot of prurient interests here has nothing to do with these posts.

Hell, I wish SOMEBODY HAD WRITTEN A BLOG LIKE THIS before I had the surgery. I might not be so ignorant about what's going on now.

I got the bright idea to wear baggy shorts underneath my work pants today. That was a bad idea for two reasons. Oh, my balls felt just great, all liberated and free-swinging. But those bastards, after their hospital shave, have grown a terrible five-o'clock shadow that felt like sand spurs and cactus bearding my inner thighs all day. I am fucking RAW from that.

And that semi-boner did NOT go away. I just gave him room to roam and become obvious unless I kept a hand in my pocket to subdue his enthusiasm. I think I'm going to take a pair of my tight shorts and cut part of the crotch out of them. Then, I'm going to put duct tape on MY INNER THIGHS!

That way, my jewels can roam free and I can pen Roscoe in a coop without any more damage than the bikini wax I'll get when I remove the duct tape.

After today, that bikini wax is NOTHING to fear.

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