February 09, 2008
The good, the bad and the ugly
Originally published June 27, 2003
Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets
Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago.
Good: Your wife isn't talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She's a lawyer.
Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn films hidden there.
Ugly: You're in them
Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.
Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.
Good: The postman is early.
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.
Good: Your son is dating someone new.
Bad: It's another man.
Ugly: He's your best friend.
Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.
(Via Catfish, who obviously has too much free time on his hands.)