Gut Rumbles
 

February 09, 2008

The inevitable

Originally published December 22, 2003

Did you ever reach a point in your life where wondered. "how the fuck did I get HERE?" and then sit down to analyze the situation carefully? I have. Every time, I discovered the Truth of the Inevitable.

You don't see it while it's happening, but it's there. It's like dominos being lined up for one of those cosmic knock-down shows. It's gonna happen, sooner or later, and there is nothing you really can do to stop it. Once that first domino topples, the rest go behind it until they all fall down. Then, you're left with that mess of fallen dominoes on the floor.

Look back on how they all lined up and you can see the pattern, now that you've experienced the mess. You didn't see it before it happened, but you weren't looking for a pattern at the time. You trusted. You believed. You were a goddam fool. What happened was inevitable.

I don't know when the dominoes begin to form a line, but when that happens, they will topple. That fact is inevitable. From the time a person stands that first tile on end in a relationship, it's only a matter of time before they put more and more in the line, then feel compelled to tip the first one.

I've always said that wimmin carry Green-Stamp books in their heads. They remember every fuck-up you ever made in your life, because they put a Green Stamp in their book to remember it by. They forget everything good you ever did with a wave of a hand, but that goddam Green Stamp book is forever.

"You bastard!"

"Huh?"

"You never should have talked to my mama the way you did on Christmas Eve three years ago."

"I don't remember Christmas Eve three years ago. What brought that up?"

"You bastard!"

See? She was into the Green Stamp book and started lining up the dominoes. Forget the fact that I fed her mama supper the previous weekend and she herself was wearing over $3,000 worth of jewlery I bought for her. That remark I made to her mama three years ago SUDDENLY DEFINES EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. And she has a Green Stamp in the book to prove it.

Wimmen. If they didn't have a pussy, there'd be a bounty on them.

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