February 03, 2008
Me on religion
Originally published June 22, 2003
I am an athiest.
I don't believe in God, I don't believe in heaven and I don't believe in ANY kind of afterlife. I believe that when you die, the lights go out and they don't come back on again. You're worm food after that.
I'll argue politics until I am blue in the face and I'll call you all kinds of creative, semi-obscene names if I believe that you are an ignorant fucktard because you are PROUD of voting TWICE for Bill Clinton. You fit the profile of most trolls I read on other people's sites. You may as well have "DICKWIT ARE ME" tattooed on your forehead. I'll call you on that kind of bullshittery.
But I don't argue religion. You either believe or you don't, and I am not going to change your mind, either way. You won't change mine, either. The fact that I think God is a horse's ass is MY humble opinion, and the fact that he hasn't hit me with a lightning bolt after 51 years of saying that he is a horse's ass confirms my opinion that if he DOES exist, he is one incompetent sunofabitch.
Got-damn! If I were God, I would have fired ME a long time ago.
I kinda like what DC thornton has to say:
Declaring yourself to be an atheist or an agnostic doesn't grant you license to slander or vilify others because they don't share your unbelief or skepticism. I get annoyed by it, I don't see any helpful purpose in it, and I personally refuse to engage in it.
That's why I don't argue religion.
I don't like being told what to do, but I ESPECIALLY don't like it when "God" gave some prick a message to pass on to me. If I were an omnipotent being, would I use Jerry Falwell as my messenger? Don't you think I could handle the message MYSELF, since I'm omnipotent?
Hell, I'll come see you PERSONALLY and burn a bush in your fucking bedroom to get your attention if I really want it. I'm GOD. I don't need no stinking Falwells to speak for me. I don't need ANYBODY to speak for me if I really want to make a point.
I've asked God to answer my prayers, but all he ever sent me were Falwells and Sharptons to pass along his message. I've been put on "hold" and sent off to deal with a God-bureaucrat instead of getting a straight answer from the top. THE MAN doesn't have time for me. He INVENTED time! But he can't break his schedule to talk to me? God is TOO BUSY? Sounds like a time-management issue to me.
Yeah, I'm asking for that lightning bolt. If God worked for ME, I'd fire his incompetent ass.
That's not an arguement. That's a statement of belief.
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