October 26, 2007
Originally published August 28, 2003
I like the word "fuck."
It probably is the most functional word in the entire English language. It is nuanced and multi-dimensional, appropriate (or inappropriate for all you blue-noses out there) for any occasion. Just think about it. You meet a good-looking woman and talk to a friend the next day.
"Heh. I fucked her on the first date," you brag. Then, six months later, she maxes out your credit cards, steals your dog and runs off with a used-car salesman.
You tell the same friend, "Man, she really fucked me."
Wait a minute. When you fucked HER it was good, but when she fucked YOU it was bad? I am confused here.
"Fuck you," is a proper response right here.
I'm not really sure what that means. People who don't want to have sex with me say it all the time. It gets me all fucked-up.
After people who tell me to go fuck myself get me all fucked-up, I may start to think about how confused I am and go fuck-up something I was supposed to do correctly. Then, if the boss finds out, I am fucked.
Is that fucked-up, or what? Why is nothing ever fucked-down?
Did you ever reach for something and have someone say, "Hey! Don't fuck with that!" You'll pull your hand back right away. Then, when you think about it, you'll grab what you were reaching for and say, "Fuck this thing anyway. I'm not gonna break it."
"I'll fuck you up if you do."
"In your fucking dreams."
"You have a fucked-up attitude."
"You live in a fucking dump."
"Don't you fuck with me!"
"Aw, go fuck yourself."
I don't want to fuck YOU, fuck WITH you or even fuck with anything you own. I want to go back to that good-looking woman that started this post.
I love the F-word.
All content © Rob Smith