Gut Rumbles
 

October 05, 2007

Getting ready

Originally published July 22, 2002

I found myself running dangerously low on cigarettes this morning, so
I dragged my son off the couch where he has crashed for the past two nights, threw some breakfast down his neck and hauled his sleepy head off to Wal-Mart. I got cigarettes, and we bought munchies for our vacation-- some kind of cheese-doodley-corn-chip creations, a big can of mixed nuts and a bag of Snickers. I finished boiling the last of the 1 & 1/2 bushels of peanuts yesterday evening during a spectacular thunderstorm and we'll take some of those, too, because I'm having to jump up and down on the freezer lid to make it close now. I figure four pairs of shorts, clean underwear and a couple of bathing suits will do me. I'm not packing ANY socks, because I'll wear sandals or go barefoot for four days on Jekyll Island.

I still haven't decided about the golf clubs. I probably ought to take them even if I don't go play-- it's better to HAVE them and not WANT them than to WANT them and not HAVE them.

They're kinda like a woman that way.

We don't need to leave until about 2:00, so I have some time to kill. I really should mow my grass (grass, hell-- I oughta cut the fricking WEEDS) but it's already 10,005 degrees outside with 150% humidity and that grass-cutting crap sounds far to much like work for a man on vacation to do. I am certain that I can find a reasonable excuse not to crank up the old lawn mower ("I DON'T FUCKING WANNA!" .... okay, sounds reasonable to me-- ed)

Yeah, I believe I'll just empty the trash cans, haul my $100 "Curb Caddy" out to the edge of the road so it'll be there for the Wednesday pickup, wipe my sweaty brow, throw in the towel and declare my work complete for the next four days. Plan your work, then work your plan. That's me.

And I plan to work seriously on my suntan.

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