July 05, 2007
Originally published July 6, 2005
When I went to visit my grandmother last Sunday, I almost got killed on the way home. I was driving down Highway 21 in Port Wentworth when a car in the left lane suddenly just cut into my lane (the RIGHT lane) and damn nearly took my front quarter-panel off, right there on the road.
I stood mama's Impala on its nose, swerved out of the way and barely avioded skidding into a deep ditch. The bastard who made that idiot move just kept going merrily down the road without a clue about what he'd just done.
He was driving a Ford Escort with duct tape wrapped all around both tail lights. The car appreared to have been hammered by a sixteen-pound sledge a few times in the past. In other words, it was a rolling piece of shit.
I caught up with the idiot in less than a mile. He stopped at a traffic light and I pulled up beside him. I rolled down my passenger window, honked my horn and YELLED at the prick. I received no response, even though his window was rolled down.
That little acne-faced jerk was WEARING HEADPHONES and rocking out to whatever he was listening to, with his baseball cap turned backward and a blissful look of PURE STUPIDITY on his face. Yeah, it was a white boy, too.
He doesn't know how close he came to having one of his front tires shot out from under him. I ALWAYS carry a pistol when I travel. He he made one damned tempting target.
I finally got the asshole's attention. He took the headphones off his ears and uttered something brilliant. "HUH?" he said.
"YOU PRICK!!! YOU ALMOST PUT ME IN THE DITCH BACK THERE!!!" I yelled.
"Huh?" he responded.
"YOU NEVER EVEN SAW ME, DID YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE??!!" I yelled.
"Huh?" he said again.
That's someone who needs to be removed from the gene pool before he reproduces. I'll GUARANTEE you that he put the headphones right back on as soon as I pulled away when the light turned green. I should have shot not only his front tire but HIM, just as a service to humanity.
Anybody who wears HEADPHONES while driving is worse than the dumbasses yakking on cell-phones or crazy wimmen using their rear-view mirror to apply make-up while driving 65 MPH down the road. And MADD wants to fry drunk drivers?
I'd rather have a semi-drunk person on the road with me than a prick wearing HEADPHONES. Think he can hear the siren of an emergency vehicle? Think he knows when he almost killed somebody with a stupid lane-change? Think he THINKS at all?
That bastard needs to be dragged off and shot.
Yeah. I sometimes suffer from road rage. That little turd doesn't know how lucky he is.
All content © Rob Smith