June 14, 2007
Originally published December 20, 2004
At the risk of offending fat people, I'm about to post a politically incorrect blog entry. I did some research today and I have decided that some people are fat because THEY EAT TOO FUCKING MUCH!!!
Bejus! I ate lunch at the Western Sizzlin' Steak House in Pooler, Georgia today. I KNOW that they cut their steaks off old, ragged, diabetic cows and it ain't the finest food in the world, but I LIKE it. For $10, I can get a fine meal, all the genuinely GOOD sweet tea I want to drink and the waitresses flirt with me, too. How can you beat that in a fancy place that costs three times the money?
They serve a buffet that is loaded to the gills with all kinds of good food---fried chicken, fried catfish, roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, rice and every kind of vegetable known to man. You pay a flat fee and eat ALL YOU WANT from the buffet.
I usually get a small steak and a salad. I don't eat a lot. But I enjoy watching the buffet buffaloes.
Mother of Gawd! One woman, who probably wore a size=Circus Tent stretch pants loaded TWO PLATES full of food from the buffet, carted that crap, enough to feed a family of five, to her table just for HERSELF, then went back and loaded a goddam soup bowl with butter and sour cream to ladle over her food. She devoured the whole fucking thing, too.
"Honey? Does this dress make my ass look fat?" No, darlin.' It ain't the dress.
I watched a guy with a pot-belly, the size of which made it IMPOSSIBLE for him to see his own dick when he looks down, load up two plates the size of a CARE food shipment to starving children in Bangladesh and waddle off to eat everything except the plates, and HE went back for more.
These people NEVER pass on the dessert, either. The place was LOADED (and I do mean a LOAD) with them.
I cannot imagine what it must be like to take a shit after eating that much food. I'll bet the neighbors know, because the earthquake rumbles they feel when somebody voids THAT kind of turd-blast must make the windows shake. If they smoked on the toilet, they'd blow themselves into the next century if the methane gas ever ignited.
If fat people want sympathy from ME, they ain't going to get it, because I know what makes them fat. THEY EAT LIKE FUCKING PIGS!!! There is no goddam excuse for eating the way I saw those people do today. The fact that YOU don't know how much is "enough" doesn't mean that you aren't responsible for the way you look.
The sad part is, their kids are fat, too. Wonder where they learned that from?
WE NEED A LAWYER TO SUE SOMEBODY HERE!!!!
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