June 13, 2007
Originally published December 15, 2004
I'm a troglodyte.
I always though that if I was locked up in a jail cell with Rod Stewart, I'd make him my bitch inside a week. Skinny, raspy little fuck. Wimmen loved him, though, but they loved EVERY singer who sounded as if he had his nutsack in a vice with somebody slowly turning the handle back then. (why do you think wimmen LIKED that sound?)
I miss ballsy bands with ballsy front-men.
Elton John? BEJUS!!! I'd have to pay the guards to keep HIM offa ME in jail!!! The same goes for that bald-headed Genesis guy... what's his name?... oh, yeah... "Take a Look at Me Now" and yada, yada... Phil Collins? Was that his name? Who gives a shit?
You know who I think was a gutsy, tear your balls off singer? I know a few:
1) Jim Morrison. ("The Doors.")
2) John Kay. ("Steppenwolf.")
3) John Cougar Mellincamp. (if you don't already know, then fuggataboudit.)
4) Warren Zevon (Just try "Werewolves of London")
5) Bob Seeger ("Down On Main Street" is one of the meanest songs ever written. I LOVE that lead guitar part.)
I'm tired, so I quit right here. But YOU tell ME any girly-boy singer who can compete with those five. I'll tell you to kiss my Cracker ass.
I know what's good.
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