Gut Rumbles
 

May 06, 2007

I am a monster

Originally published February 25, 2005

Well, I'm either a child-slave driver or a clever and generous neighbor. Two of Jack's sisters agreed to clean my house, starting with the kitchen. I hired them on the spot yesterday when they said they wanted to make some money. They showed up after school today and are working their butts off as I type.

They offered to do the kitchen for $25, a bargain at the price. Hillary took one look at my sink and said, "I'll be right back." I thought she would run away and never return. But she was back in five minutes, with a pair of green, elbow-length Haz-Mat washing gloves and a bottle of her personal dishwashing detergent. That girl has potential.

If they do my kitchen right, I'm giving them a shot at the rest of the house. They're making some horrible noises in there ("EEwwwwww!!!") but they're doing the job. I may put them on a permanent contract. This could be a win-win-win situation.

I get my house cleaned, I make a couple of young girls wealthy (by young girl standards) and I keep them off the streets and out of trouble. Good, honest work for a good, honest wage. And NO SEX is involved. (Although I'll tell you one thing. Hillary is going to be a complete knockout in another couple of years. She's going to be a dude-magnet.)

She also doesn't mind working, either. Her sister, Kylie, is pretty much useless, except for making those "EEEwwww" noises, but I think they'll get it done together. They're going at it like true warriors right now.

I've never even CONTEMPLATED child abuse in my life. But I look at the job I gave those girls and I have to wonder now... I just may be a monster.

But I'll bet that I end up with a clean house by this time tomorrow.

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