Gut Rumbles
 

April 24, 2007

Facts of life

Originally published December 2, 2004

* I walk into the Crackerbox and I feel a Circle of Negativity forming around me. I'm really beginning to hate this place.

* I feel no shame about renting prostitutes in Costa Rica, and I would LOVE to see my bloodless cunt, ex-wife bring up the subject in court. Yeah... I rented a few hookers. Jennifer, you did... what? While married? In front of a six year-old boy? Explain THAT to the judge if you want to bring up MY sex life.

* Rosemary explained how mordida, or "the bite," works in her line of business. Got-dam! I pay HER and half the people in town get a cut of the money. THAT'S what greasy-guy was doing on the street that evening.

* Homeland security is a joke. I was manhandled by those people today because I was profiled--- NOT as a potential terrorist or drug-smuggler--- but as a silver-haired white male that they could fuck with impudently. No, I take that back: nobody was impudent with me. The people were all polite and professional. But they fucked with me anyway, because they knew that they could. I didn't enjoy the experience.

* Some people call themselves "aggressive" or "self-confident" when all they really are is feral. They don't see any difference between a tiger and a hyena.

* I came to hate a dog in Costa Rica. I never saw the fucking mutt, but he was the damnedest barkaholic that I ever heard. He was one of those Ingersol-Rand dogs, the kind that don't have to breathe a single time to bark for thirty minutes straight. He liked to crank up at 3:00 in the morning, too, barking at nothing just because he could. That dog is why I left my first hotel in Jaco. He gave me thoughts of anti-freeze and mole pellets, and I don't like to go there.

* I asked Rosemary the other night: "You are young and attractive now. How much longer do you think you can keep doing what you're doing?" She said 10 more years. I asked her what she planned to do in 10 more years. "Be dead, mon," she replied, and she meant it. That's a sad philosophy. I know the feeling.

* Comment spammers really are the scum of the earth. I have serious cleaning up to do tomorrow.

* Rosemary said that she was 30 years old. I would put her closer to 40, but I didn't pursue that topic. I fucked up when I told her how old I am. "No Waaaay!" she said. "You no 52. You 58, maybe 60." That hurt. She said that I had old eyes. That statement may be true, because these old eyes have seen a lot, but I don't believe that I look 58 years old. C'mon. Even on a bad day, I don't look any older than 57.

* I really missed not having a guitar to play a few times in Costa Rica. That place makes me want to sing.

* This blog will be three years old this month. In all modesty, I do not believe that another blog like mine exists anywhere on the net. I have no idea how to "classify" my blog in any specific category. I just write. Some people like what I write and some people don't. I ain't stretching for an audience and I don't care which way you lean. But I'll be here next year, too.

* What's the difference between a "crust" and a "patina?"

* I am tired. I have one ear still stopped up from riding airplanes today. And I still have to figure out what I'm going to do with the dead hooker's bloody head in my duffle bag.

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