April 07, 2007
Originally published April 28, 2004
From my friend, Catfish:
It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...
A beer is always wet.
A beer tastes horrible served hot.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
24 beers come in a box.
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
If you come home smelling like beer, your wife may get mad. If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
6 beers in a night and you better not drive. 6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
With beer, bigger is better.
Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain god.
If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead, Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
The government taxes beer.
All content © Rob Smith