Gut Rumbles
 

April 06, 2007

On the mend

Originally published February 2, 2002

I believe I am cured of the cursed flu I had for the past three days. I went out this afternoon and ate a DOUBLE-BEEF WHOPPER WITH CHEESE and a large order of french fries. And I loved it. As I feel all that grease, choresterol and fat coursing through my veins, I want to throw back my head and let out a wild Tarzan scream. I AM HEALTHY AGAIN!

I became the first paying customer for my friend Willie's music business when I went to his house today and bought strings for three of my guitars and my mandolin. He has a whole chest of drawers full of strings, capos, picks and stuff and he gave me a good price on what I bought. He probably gave ME a much better price than he would give YOU, unless you are one of the many pickers, singers and friends invited to my surprise 50th birthday party two weeks from today. So show up and buy some strings. Otherwise, check out his web site here and order something.

Willie, that's TWICE I gave you free ad space. You owe me, man.

I wrote a nastygram e-mail to that bloodless barracuda cunt and slut of an ex-wife I have to inform her that this is the last visitation weekend that she will book outside activities for my son to the point that he is too busy to visit. I did learn while I was at Willies that she managed, in spite of all the whirlwind activity involving my son this weekend, to have the unemployed, dope-smoking Rent-A-Dick spend the weekend with her and my son, which is typical. Whatta cunt. But the plans she makes for my boy will be cancelled from now on when he is supposed to be with me. If I can't or won't follow her agenda, then he doesn't go. Period. Otherwise...well, we'll cross that bridge when I'm ready to burn it down, which is any time after today.

Being the hillbilly that I am, I hold family and blood as holy things worth dying for. Just maybe I'm wrong. Florence King could have the right idea about "family." I'm certain my ex-wife feels that way.

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