March 25, 2007
Originally published November 26, 2004
My assault on the Fortress Inga was unsuccessful last night. We had a nice meal together and I planned to seduce her. I turned up the old Acidman cham to warp factor 10, and I launched everything from photon torpedoes to maximum phasers at her. I think I threw in a couple of disrupter beams, too.
But Inga had her shields up and she repulsed every attack I made. She actually wanted to SLEEP instead of "go to bed" last night. Oh well. You win some and you lose some, but the game is always fun to play. I walked her back to her room at 9:00 last night and left after a very polite and demure kiss.
I didn't feel like going to sleep after we parted, so I went down to the beach to gamble. Unfortunately, the casino where I won all that money playing blackjack last time here is no longer a casino. It's a "Beach Entertainment Center" now, with an armed guard out front and late 70s disco music blasting out the door. I didn't go there.
I went to a little bar on the beach to have a beer. I walked in, sat down on a stool, and the bartender said, "Oye, Old Timer! What'll you have?"
"Old Timer." Fuck! Do I REALLY look that old? Is THAT what went wrong with Inga? She didn't want to sport with an "old timer?"
I didn't get laid but I DID get insulted last night. That bartender blew the hell out of his goddam tip with that "Old Timer" remark. I shoulda dragged his ass over the bar and laid a good whuppin' on him for his audacity. I shoulda beat the shit out of him. I shoulda...
I shoulda done just what I did, which is drink a beer and leave. I am too old for bar-fights anymore and I might hurt my back. I have to face reality every now and then, no matter how young I think.
I'm a goddam old-timer.
All content © Rob Smith