Gut Rumbles
 

March 07, 2007

Eating machines

Originally published June 2, 2003

breakfast.JPG

I love those boys.

My son is the one with no shirt on (go figure). You're seeing the last of a half-pound of bacon vanish down their gullets along with four large scrambled eggs and a bagel each, which disappeared right off the bat. Those milk glasses were full when they started eating.

When I sat them down, I asked, "If you had three wishes that could come true, what would they be?"

Young Jack right away said, "I wish Quinton was my brother!"

That made me feel good, until Quinton said, "Shut up and eat, Jack. You're my FRIEND, not my brother."

"Okay, then I wish we were TWINS!"

"We can't be twins because I'm older than you are. Twins are born at the same time. I am nine years old and you aren't." Logic sucks, doesn't it?

"I'm EIGHT!"

"No, you're not. You're SEVEN. You'll be eight in two months. I'll be TEN YEARS OLD before you're nine."

I performed an intervention here, because Jack was getting pissed and Quinton was laying the seniority club on him pretty heavily.

I said, "I'm FIFTY-ONE years old, and I am TALL DOG around this house. You boys better shut up and eat or you'll never see another birthday. If there's a fight in THIS HOUSE, I'll be the one who starts it, and I'll be the one who finishes it." I struck a gunfighter's stance in the kitchen. "You poots want some of ME?"

They shut up and ate.

Little boys are like dogs and little girls are like cats. I've raised one of each and I know the difference. I bought a 22" deep inflatable wading pool at Wal-Mart last weekend. I inflated it, put water in it, and the boys immediately decided that it was a wrestling arena where the goal was to toss to your opponent out on the ground.

Jack's sisters came over and actually believed that the pool was meant for swimming. They were quickly dissuaded of that crazy idea by Jack, who is accustomed to fighting with his sisters. Quinton LET the girls throw him out of the pool because he won't fight them. He is WAY too much like me at his age, and the way I was for most of my life. He still believes in chilvary. He made the State Finals in his weight class last year in wrestling and he tosses Jack around like a rag doll. But he LET HIMSELF be manhandled by the girls.

Guess who the girls went after? I'll give you a hint... it wasn't Jack.

I'll never trust another goddam split-tail as long as I live. I am a dog, and I can't think like a cat. I am a man, and I damned sure can't think like a woman. I am 0-2 playing that game and I have learned my lesson. It cost me a LOT both times.

I would NEVER post anything like this about an ex-lover and I believe that the guy who did it is pure scum. [Ed. Link borked. Referred to the Miss Vermont "scandal" from the Tucker Max site.] But I also know that a woman will do worse than that to YOU and never feel a moment's remorse about it.

If you throw a man out of his home, take a man's son, run off with another man and then sue the father for child support, you pure-ass suck. Women do that shit all the time and the father is playing a hand from a stacked deck. I've seen those cards dealt to me. "Fairer Sex," my aching ass.

Bloodless cunts abound in this world. And they have Politically Correct sympathy on their side. I don't know why, because they machinate worse than any man ever could ever CONCEIVE of doing, but that's their soap-opera brains in action. Fuck 'em.

Did you ever notice that women who claim to have been "raped" get raped more than once? Did you ever notice that women who have "abusive relationships" with one guy go through several just like that one? WOMEN ARE FUCKED UP!!!

They are the Borg.

If they didn't have a pussy and red toenails, there'd be a fucking bounty on their asses.

Comments

They acted just like brothers, both of them were good boys, when I was around them

Posted by: Catfish on March 8, 2007 03:40 AM

Those two boys were a handful when they got together. When are you going to be able to put the two songs that I sent you here on Rob's site? I sent them both (The Dutchman & Jutice Laid Me Low) to http://www.dagoddess.com/ and she has them posted on her site. I may have some more coming before long.

Posted by: Willy on March 8, 2007 07:12 AM

Hi Willie, thanks for your comment - it's so great to hear a bit of the extra background from somebody who knew him so well. just like hearing from Cat.

I'll be finishing the last of the set up and nailing down of the new server this weekend, and the music section will be available when we switch. Thanks for sending the music, and we'd love to have anything else that might come available.

Take care;

Paul

Posted by: Light & Dark on March 8, 2007 09:16 AM

Paul
I also have the two songs that were originally posted at the time of Rob's death on other sites. Those being, Long Black Veil & My Door Is Always Open. Some time in the forseable future there should be at least two CD's that could be released. One of all the original songs that Rob wrote and recorded. There is another of cover songs that Rob and his brother Dave recorded many years ago. That is where the song The Dutchman came from. I also have somewhere near 40 hours of parties we had here at my house that I recorded. It will take me a good bit of time to edit through all of it but there may be something there within the next year or so.

Posted by: Willy on March 8, 2007 09:58 AM

Willie, I have copies of the first 2 songs you're referring to, so they'll be included when the site's refreshed.

As for the other material, be sure to keep me updated, and I'll get word out here. I know there are lots of people visiting here who would love to be able to hear more of his music.

Thanks for letting us know.

P.

Posted by: Light & Dark on March 8, 2007 11:05 AM
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