Gut Rumbles
 

February 28, 2007

Testicle farms

Originally published March 26, 2006

It's bad enough that the Pussification of America is turning many men into whimpering bags of confused hormones (just like wimmen, only without the tits), but I never fully despaired over this process. It works only on the Barry Manilow or Alan Alda "sensitive" types of men--- guys who know the difference between mauve and puce--- and NOT on REAL men--- guys who think with their dicks and believe that "shit-stain" is a color.

No, I was willing to bet on the stubborn survival of Mandom, simply because man is so thoroughly disgusting to begin with. I AM a man and I know what I'm talking about here. You wimmen can smoothe off a few rough edges and force us to act civilized in public, but not even YOU, with all the pussy in the world under your control, can change a man from the pig he is into the prince you want him to be. It just ain't natural.

Besides, if feminist pressure really could change men, guys wouldn't think farts are so funny.

But I don't sell wimmen short. They are masters of plot and manipulation and I worry about their ideas for man's role in this world. Someone wise once said that the only reason wimmen need men today is because no one has yet invented a vibrator that can cut the grass. That's why this story made me feel uncomfortable in my pants. I can see a possible Brave New World here.

Men raised in captivity, on testicle farms, where wimmen harvest their jewels for stem cells.

Don't laugh--- it could happen. If wimmen claim that they're doing it "for the children," NOBODY is gonna have the nerve to complain.

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