Gut Rumbles
 

February 21, 2007

Advice

Originally published February 16, 2005

If one more person tells me that I need a girlfriend in my life, that I need to find "love" again and share all of my wonderful, gentle, caring attributes with a Significant Other, I'm gonna go on a got-dam rampage with a baseball bat while I howl at the moon and smash car windshields and U.S. mailboxes. I don't WANT a girlfriend.

And I damned sure don't want one who would have ME.

(Besides... if I want a companion, I can get one from a warehouse, kinda like shopping at Home Depot instead of engaging in exotic courtship rituals.)

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