January 04, 2007
Another on-line ad?
Originally published August 3, 2002
Wanted: person of the female persuasion to come live with ME, rent-free (strictly Platonic, too) if she does housekeeping, laundry and doesn't invite rowdy friends over when I have to go to bed early, which is Monday through Friday.
Wait a minute... that sounds more like I'm asking for a live-in maid (or a rent-a-semi-wife) rather than a roommate, doesn't it?
Okay, SO BE IT! The rent and utilities are free, since I'm paying those already. You have to talk to me when I want to talk, then leave me alone when I want to blog. You can watch anything you want on TV, because I don't watch it at all, except during football season, at which time I become COMMANDER OF THE REMOTE CONTROL. Otherwise, it's all yours. I keep the thermostat set at 72 degrees, winter and summer, and I insist that you DON'T TOUCH THAT FUCKER! Regulate your own body temperature, not my house. Play anything you want to hear on the stereo, except rap music, and put the CDs back in the box when you're done. Then, pick up all the ones I've left out of the box and put them back, too.
Red toenails are a plus, and if you'll scratch my back on Thursday evenings, I'll fix snow crab legs for supper on Friday night.
It ain't a bad deal. Private room, personal (clean) bathroom and the Master of the House gone most of the daylight hours. I buy the groceries, too, unless you're one of those fruit-loop, organic vegans. In that case, you buy your own rabbit-food to eat.
Damn! Maybe I SHOULD ADVERTISE THIS OFFER.
I'll bet I get some takers.
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