December 15, 2006
Originally published December 22, 2004
I want to generate some happy thoughts and one popped immediately to mind. This is a true story.
I was 27 years old and just back in Savannah after a trip to North Carolina to play guitar for a while. I made a lot of money on that gig, and I was set up for plenty of work in town, after two weeks of well-deserved time off. I was chasing a very good-looking woman at that juncture in my life, but she wouldn't give me any, so I thought that NOW was the time to step up my courtship a notch or two.
Hell... I had money in my pocket, time on my hands and I was horny as a hoot owl. I called her up and invited her out for a very nice dinner. She accepted.
I knew a good seafood restaurant on River Street and every time I ate there I wondered about their "Seafood Lover's Plate." On the menu it said that the food was for two people who enjoyed seafood, but it was ALSO for "lovers." In italics, the menu stated, "Relax. Enjoy. Sample three hours of candle-lit elegance, with food for lovers, in a river-front atmosphere that you'll never forget."
The price for a dinner for two was $50, which was a LOT OF MONEY back then, but I had it, plus plenty more, so that's where I took her.
Damn! She looked good enough to eat all by herself when I picked her up. The weather was warm and she wore a low-cut, light sun-dress that displayed her ample clevage and hugged her hips just SO, the way that'll make a bulldog break a cow-chain. She wore sandals and her toenails were painted fire-engine (or maybe "candy-apple?") RED.
I wanted to paw the ground and snort like a bull when I saw her.
That meal was exquisite. I made reservations ahead of time, so when we arrived at the restaurant, we were whisked off to the Lover's Grotto, or whatever they called the private dining area where they served their "special" customers. I ordered a bottle of wine and the food started coming. HOLY BEJUS!!!
We started with soup, then progressed to an oyster stew that was delicious. Oysters on the half-shell followed. We had some kind of special shrimp appetizer that would make you slap your mama; then, here came escargots. We ate those, too, and ordered another bottle of wine. The food just kept coming.
In between every dish we had enough time to talk and digest and get ready for the next surprise. I discovered that I really LIKED her. Forget the fact that she was the best-looking woman in the place. She was smart, she was funny, she read the same books I did and she ate with gusto. The wine, the food and the candle-light helped, but the truth is... she and I really hit it off.
I forget what all we ate that night, but the entire meal took FOUR HOURS to consume and every bite was delicious. I believe we had another bottle of wine every hour, too. By the time we were done, I wanted to crawl off and take a nap somewhere. I was stuffed.
The waitress came by and asked if we wanted dessert. I didn't, but being the gentleman that I am, I asked my date if she wanted any. "Yes," she replied. "I most assuredly want dessert." The waitress went off to fetch a dessert menu.
I asked, "You've got room for dessert after THAT meal?"
She leaned across the table and stroked my hand. She had that smokey, half-smiling, shining-eyed look that I've seen only a few times in my life. "I don't want anything they have here." she said. "I... want...to...suck...your...COCK!"
Forget that dessert menu. CHECK PLEASE!!!!!
I have no idea what I spent on that meal, but it was worth every cent.
We stayed together for several months, until she took a better job offer in California, which was where her mama lived. We stayed in touch for a couple of years, then just drifted apart. I wonder where she is now?
That was one of the best meals I ever had in my life, and dessert was excellent. THAT'S a pleasant memory.
All content © Rob Smith