Gut Rumbles
 

December 05, 2006

Something about a dog

Originally published February 1, 2005

A dog loves you in a way no cat ever will. When a dog decides that YOU belong to him, he'll do everything in his power never to disappoint you. He will disappoint you, of course, because he's a dog. But he feels GUILTY about it. He knows that he fucked up and he's SORRY. A guilty dog will grovel to get back into your good graces. A cat expects YOU to get over it.

When a dog is hurt, he comes to you to get his injury fixed. He'll hold still when to tell him to, and if you've got to pull a thorn out of his foot or take a twist of barbed wire from his ass, he'll sit there and take it because he trusts you, and he is ever so grateful when you're finished. If a cat is hurt, it's convinced that YOU DID IT!

I once had a 150 pound Collie that didn't like it when I started to spank Samantha one day. The dog put itself between me and her and growled at me. I ended up whipping TWO asses that day. I tore the dog up (Don't you EVER growl at me again, or I'll snatch your tongue out and choke you with it!")and then I whipped Samantha. But the dog meant well. It was trying to protect my child.

A dog can walk up to you, place his chin on your knee and give you a look of love, adoration and trust that no other animal can duplicate. And all he wants is to be petted. Cats don't give a shit about you, unless you stop feeding them. Then, they'll claw up your sofa.

A dog will fight to the death to protect you and yours. They don't care how big the foe is and they don't care about their chances of survival. They'll do it because that's their job. They'd rather die bleeding and broken than let you down. Cats think that shit ain't their problem.

Cats suck. They are a lazy dime a dozen. Ohhh... but they're so CUTE!!!, which is another reason I hate their asses.

No cat in the world ever measured up to a damn good dog.

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