Gut Rumbles
 

June 24, 2006

i feel his pain...

... but I don't know that he had $400,000 worth. Besides, he got a blue-light special implant, not the top-o-the-line model like MINE.

Those "malleable" implants are a lot like having a length of flex conduit crammed into your wanger. When you feel sexy, you just kinda unroll that rascal, use it, then roll it back up again when you're finished. The Dura II is NOT a pump device. It's more like an attachment you might expect to find included in the gadget-bag that comes with the purchase of a Kirby vacuum cleaner.

Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, received the steel and plastic implant in about two years before Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it.

But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse and is uncomfortable being around his grandchildren, his lawyer said.

What did Lennon expect? He bought what amounts to a flexible steel rod that is designed to maintain its shape when either straightented out or rolled up. He had that thing implanted in his DICK. Uh... I've got news for this guy. When you opt for one of those, you're gonna get... a flexible steel rod in your dick.

I bitch about the one I have not feeling natural to me or being nearly as good as the original equipment, but at least I ain't packing anything but plastic tubing, a simple pump and a saline pouch inside ME today. I shopped around before I decided on the one I chose.

But Lennon could not position his penis downward. He said he could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear bathing trunks because of the pain and embarrassment. He has become a recluse and is uncomfortable being around his grandchildren, his lawyer said.

In 2004, a jury awarded him $750,000. A judge called that excessive and reduced it to $400,000. On Friday, the Rhode Island Supreme Court affirmed that award in a ruling that turned on a procedural matter.

"I don't know any man who for any amount of money would want to trade and take my client's life," said Jules D'Alessandro, Lennon's attorney. "He's not a whole person."

No shit? He's not a "whole person" anymore? Well, just slap my ass and call me Fanny! I'm not "whole" anymore, either--- but I wasn't fool enough to have a roll-up steel hose stuck in ME, either. Just what did this dumbass EXPECT?

The guy has my sympathy. It is NO fun learning to deal with an artificial dick, even one with the best bionics available today. You get one that's nothing more than flexible conduit, and it's going to be even less "natural" than MINE. But you sometimes get what you pay for.

And $400,000? If HIS dick is worth that much, mine was worth a cool million or two. Besides, he's 68 years old. Piss on him. I was 48 when that crap happened to ME. HE should be totally fucked-out by now. I WASN'T when MY dick fell off.

Besides... it really sounds to me that the dumbass never learned to operate it correctly. A jury should have told that whining bastid to go home and practice.

NOT award him $400,000...

Comments

I read the description of the device in question, and I am fairly sure it infringes the Slinky™ patent.

Posted by: Steve H. on June 24, 2006 04:39 PM
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