Gut Rumbles
 

June 20, 2006

Blood on the saddle

I know that YOU have never done this, but I have. In fact, I did it again this afternoon.

I cleaned out my dishwasher and put all the kitchen implements in their proper places. I reloaded the dishwasher with more nasty shit that needed washing. My kitchen was starting to look semi-clean, when I noticed bright red drops of... paint?... food coloring?... dripping all over the floor.

Where the hell did THAT come from?

I found out.

I cut the livin' shit outta myself when I was taking the kitchen knives out of my dishwasher. I sliced myself right in that tender place between thumb and forefinger, where you can do it without feeling it and have blood flow as if it were coming from a faucet. Holey-moley!!! I was bleeding like a stuck hog!!!

I wrapped my wound in a paper towel, then did something that NO Boy Scout First-Aid kit will EVER tell you to do, but it works. Trust me. It works.

I grabbed a tube of Super-Glue, ran a bead across the cut, and squeezed it shut for 30 seconds. PRESTO!!! No more bleeding. Hell--- no more CUT, either. Just a shiny line as if a snail had crawled across my hand.

I sprayed it with Bactine and daubed it with alcohol just to be on the safe side, but I'm gonna tell you right NOW--- Super-Glue works better than stitches when you cut yourself the way I did today.

I figure that I saved about $300 by not going to the Emergency Room. I think I'll heal just fine, too.

Heh. That was better than a mountain poultice...

Comments

*raising hand sheepishly*

but, how do you get it off? Wouldn't that just rip it open again?

I'm gettin' sore just thinking about that.

Posted by: Lisa on June 20, 2006 04:15 PM

It'll come off on it's own eventually.
Rather easily and after not too long, too.

And, did you know that it won't stick if there's spit involved?

Also, soaking whatever ya glued that you didn't mean to in nail polish remover will also make it go away.
That's why they make the non-acetone nail polish remover for fake nails.

Posted by: Stevie on June 20, 2006 04:20 PM

Steve, yes they do. It's called Dermabond. Google it. By the time your skin sheds it off, the wound should be okay.

Make sure it doesn't get infected, Acidman!

Posted by: Cythen on June 20, 2006 04:39 PM

I have a wicked sharp set of knives in my kitchen that can cut me before I even realize it. I am so going to have to start using this trick.

Posted by: trouble on June 20, 2006 04:40 PM

But, I'll do you a good turn: grow some basil in your yard. Use it for cooking, but also to deal with fire ant stings. If you get stung, as fast as you can, crush up a basil leaf and put it on the sting, holding it in place with tape or a bandaid. Leave it on at least a half hour.

The sting will go away without the big infected pussy head.

Posted by: trouble on June 20, 2006 04:42 PM

I once read a story about some bitch that super-glued her husband's dick to his stomach while he was sleeping.

Would a real man ever super-glue his woman's pussy lips shut? No matter how rotten she was?

I THINK NOT!

I propose a new "Man-Law"....Always keep your Super-Glue locked up in the gun vault.

Man Law.....Man Law.

Posted by: CZ on June 20, 2006 04:47 PM

You know they sell that liquid bandage stuff at the store now? It costs a good deal more than superglue. But I'm convinced that it ain't nothin but superglue in a different package.

Posted by: Nick Wright on June 20, 2006 04:57 PM

CZ, have you ever read either of Howad Stern's books?

In one of them (I forget which one), to make a point about the arbitrary nature of the FCC's cracking down on him for saying "penis" on his radio show, he told about seeing some woman on Oprah whose husband (a doctor) had gotten pissed at her and sewed her vagina shut during her hysterectomy and Oprah saying "vagina" about 200 times and that being okay with the FCC, so why not what he said...

And, I heard about the guy you mentioned, too...

And, if you need to "relieve some stress" at somebody who is a real dick, a little squirt of superglue in their car's doorlock keyhole is always fun to watch....
I'm just sayin'...

Posted by: Stevie on June 20, 2006 05:27 PM

Cyanoacrylate...aka superglue aka krazyglue and if it's sterile, aka Dermabond. I've done it before too. And I'm a nurse. :) Saves a chunk of change.

***liability disclaimer*** always have a physician determine whether the cut is Dermabond-worthy or requires actual sutures. When in doubt, get it seen about. And make sure your tetanus shot is up to date - you have 72 hrs after a cut to get it updated if it's not. Which you can do for about 10 bucks at your local health dept. I've seen an actual case of tetanus. It ain't pretty.

Posted by: BabsRN on June 20, 2006 05:32 PM

Babs, that's good advice. But do you really think I CARE if I die?

I EMBRACE the chance. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Posted by: Acidman on June 20, 2006 05:45 PM

Yep, Dermabond in the ER, but New-Skin over the counter.

I had to break that shit out just recently. Dearest Husband and I had gone to the beach for the weekend.

We came home late and had to feed the horse. He was hunched over in the shed getting the sweet feed, and I lovingly said to my horsie, "Hi honey! How have you been this weekend?"

DH rose up in fury (I guess thinking I was talking to someone else?? Who knows.) and banged his noggin on the corner of the sink in the shed.

*wink* THAT was fun-naaaayyy!

Posted by: Surfie on June 20, 2006 06:02 PM

.. that five-inch scar on my arm?... superglued, man... never went to the ER after Biker Steve cut me... Cousin Brad and Biker Steve glued it... it was pretty cool....

Posted by: Eric on June 20, 2006 06:06 PM

The wife (science teacher) tells me that super glue was invented accidently, looking for a way to do just that, close wounds.

I love superglue. About the only thing I have found that comes close when I cut myself at work (which is occasionally considering I work in a kitchen) is to wrap a big piece of duct tape around my finger. Now THAT stuff is great. Bandages don't stick becuase of all of the grease and water, but duct tape and super glue, hell yes.

Posted by: Richard on June 20, 2006 06:26 PM

I'm still waiting for them to make trauma-size glue wound closer stuff that comes in a big cauk gun thinger ala PL400.

I think i saw that in a scifi flick...

Posted by: Heath on June 20, 2006 06:31 PM

As a carpet and flooring installer. I work with razor blades and other items that cut you on a daily basis.

I recently cut the SHIT out of my thumb with a pair of tinsnips between the knuckle and the hand joint. It was probably 3/16ths deep and kinda resembled a triangle.

I wrapped it in a paper towel, put some duct tape around it and finished what I was doing. When I got home that evening I layed the skin back over and superglued it shut.

You can't tell what happened to my thumb and very little scarring at all. Superglue is the most inportant thing in my tool box.

Posted by: gravdigr on June 20, 2006 06:35 PM

You shine like Shinola today old man

Posted by: Ronnie on June 20, 2006 06:51 PM

Superglue: the Ultimate Construction Worker's Band-Aid. All my employees have a tube in their truck.

For less serious cuts, a napkin and duct (or electrical) tape work wonders.

They do, however, have my permission to go to the ER if a pint or more of blood is lost.

Posted by: rightisright on June 20, 2006 08:34 PM

This comes from actually listening to my wife, in the "for what it's worth department," as she's just finished a recent microbiology course, which means that I, by default, have just completed a microbiology course.

I think everyone's correct about the use of superglue on the cut. Perfectly reasonable solution to the problem. I think they actually use the equivalent (and have for years) to patch up after episiotomies after child-birthing.

As far as the tetanus is concerned, unless it is a deep puncture-type wound, you shouldn't be that concerned. The bacteria that causes tetanus is Clostridium tetani, and it's an anaerobe. If its a surface cut, where there's some measure of oxygen getting to it, it won't grow. That's why when you step on a rusty nail, and the wound is deep and not getting air that you have to worry about tetanus.

Posted by: DrawingDead on June 20, 2006 09:07 PM

I forgot to mention another favorite among the super glue/ duct tape and paper towel crowd, electrical zip ties work great to secure a paper towel and keep pressure on it, so you can keep working without worry of it slipping off.

Posted by: Heath on June 20, 2006 09:29 PM

Heath said:
"I'm still waiting for them to make trauma-size glue wound closer stuff that comes in a big cauk gun thinger ala PL400. "

I know of a few "breeders" around here that could use that for closing their "biggest" wound...:)

Posted by: Lisa on June 20, 2006 09:33 PM

" know of a few "breeders" around here that could use that for closing their "biggest" wound...:)"

Sumptin tells me dey done breeded before posting! Sucks don't it?

Posted by: TC on June 21, 2006 03:37 AM

just had major back surgery-2 herniated discs repaired- they closed up a 2 inch incision with glue- was walking 4 hrs later-amazing shit they do nowadays

Posted by: pmirto on June 21, 2006 05:37 AM

> Babs, that's good advice. But do you really think I CARE if I die?
> I EMBRACE the chance. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
= A-Man .. Tetnaus is not something you'd wish on yourself, even if you want to take a sojurn into the next world. Without treatment, you'd experience horrific pain, broken bones and teeth, then dehydration. Also, it's not quick, easy, or passive.
Few things in a life of pain are as painful as death by Tetnaus. DJS

Posted by: DJSloan/Houston on June 21, 2006 09:41 AM

And, your dick falls off, slowly, and with considerable
discomfort. But, you go ahead and do what you think best........

Posted by: Ol' Lurker on June 21, 2006 11:01 AM

My dick fell off in 2001. That's why I don't give a shit about much anymore.

Posted by: Acidman on June 21, 2006 04:39 PM
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