Gut Rumbles
 

June 16, 2006

taxes

Wanna read a really, really GROSS blog entry? Here's one.

I figured that the IRS was gonna fuck me good when I got that mysterious, semi-threatening letter in the mail a month ago. I received Scary Letter, DEFINITE threat, Part UGH! today.

No, that $40,000+ I paid them in 2004 was not NEARLY enough money. I was about $14,000 short of what I SHOULD have paid, according to THEIR calculations. Now, with penalties and interest, I owe them another $60,000. (Actually, it's $60,266, to be precise.)

That's right, folks--- SIXTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! On an original tax bill of $56,000, of which $42,000 I already paid. There's government in action for you. I now owe MORE than my original tax bill was.

Bejus on a bicycle. That means my total tax bill for that one year will be $101,894. I haven't worked for more than two years. I've also paid a small fortune in medical bills during that time, because my health has NOT been good. I couldn't work now if I wanted to, with all the physical problems I have.

But my crippled ass may end up homeless, broke and on the street because of my benefecit federal government. And I haven't even heard from the state of Georgia yet, but I already know that if screwed up my federal taxes, I screwed up the state, too. I probably owe those fuckers another $10,000 or so.

In our great nation today, however, that's what I spent 23 years of my life working for--- a chance to give everything I ever earned and everything I ever worked for to the government. But that's really not so bad.

Government spends that money so much more wisely than I do.

(Today, I'm gonna call one of those "Fight the IRS" places and see if I can at least get the penalties and interest reduced, or knocked off entirely. Even if I'm successful doing that, I'm still gonna owe a whopping bunch of money. I may have to start a "Free Acidman" campaign, to beg for help in bailing my ass outta this black hole.

I have 2,000 readers per day visiting this blog. If I could persuade every reader to send me a mere $20, I would have 2/3 of the money I owe, enough so that I could handle paying the rest myself. Just Damn! I could live comfortably for THREE YEARS on $60,000. Government spends more than that every SECOND of every day.

In other words, they're gonna fry my ass, ruin my life and leave me as broke as a segmented worm just to extract a large chunk of my entire life's savings, which they will take less than a second to piss away "invest" in some useless and wasteful government program that really benefits no one except the bureaucrats who run it.

But I better think twice about that Blegathon idea. If people DID send me $20 each to pay my taxes, that money would be "income," and I might be in worse trouble next year than I am right now.

I think I'm just plain fucked.

(WAIT!! I've got an idea! I could call my ex-wife, explain my situation and ask for HER help. After all, she makes more than $100,000 per year herself, she just married a wealthy old Dumbo-eared bastid and she hasn't allowed me to see my son in almost six months now. I've paid HER more than enough in child support to cover my tax bill. I'll just ask HER to refund MY money. Then, I can pay the feds with no problem.

She oughta go for that idea. Don'tcha think?)

Comments

Oh hell, it sounds like you in deep do-do!

Posted by: Michele on June 16, 2006 01:34 PM

I see that only the ladies are commenting on this - kinda weird! I would DEFINATELY fight this - big time. Did you do these taxes yourself or have a Preparer do it? Did you "screw" it up on purpose (I am sure YOU did not)! Have you called the IRS yourself and actually talked to a warm blooded person? I would think that if the error was not on purpose that they would make a deal with you. Happens where I work all the time and I work in an accounting office that does taxes. Go for it!

Posted by: Anastasia on June 16, 2006 01:45 PM

You can receive just under 10,000 dollars in "gifts" and not have to report it (from what I last remembered). Think on the "half-full" side:

If 1000 people sent you 60 bucks, you'd be on the home stretch.

Posted by: Crom on June 16, 2006 01:52 PM

Sounds like it's time for an extended vacation in Costa Rica.

Posted by: anonymous on June 16, 2006 01:54 PM

Don't f-ck with the IRS, look what happened to Leona Helmsley.

Although, I've been told they will settle for less, depending on the circumstances

Posted by: stripersniper on June 16, 2006 02:08 PM

Rob,

Do get some professional help to get this resolved asap, before the vultureous bastards at the irs use their powers to really do you harm, levy your bank accounts, and put a lien on your house, assuming they haven't already done so. They wil take it all, believe me!

And after it's all over when you have nothing to show for a lifetime of work, you can watch the gummit give away your money to welfare queens, pimps, and the other leeches amongst us with more gummit programs, then wonder where's the justice?

Posted by: Been there too on June 16, 2006 02:11 PM

Just a side note, there are no warm blooded folks at the IRS.

Posted by: Ron on June 16, 2006 02:24 PM

You have pissed on one of the Clinton Holdover's in the IRS. Now they are on a personal vendetta to get you. They know they're fucktards but don't want anyone to tell them they're fucktards. It looks like half the IRS, FBI and CIA are holdovers (aka traitors)with an agenda, Get Bush and anyone that supports him. Careful of you'll join the Arkansas sudden death syndrome list on this site: http://emporium.turnpike.net/P/ProRev/wwstats.htm
I know it isn't funny, but it is funny.

Posted by: Scrapiron on June 16, 2006 02:45 PM

I wanted to bet fifty in your "Fire Ward Churchill post but comments won't accept it.
why?

Posted by: Terry on June 16, 2006 02:53 PM

Okay who did you piss off in the IRS Rob?
Somehow it just doesn't seem possible to owe that much if you've not been working,etc...

Posted by: Lisa on June 16, 2006 03:01 PM

Rob,
Having been in the same or worse situations with the IRS in the past, the best advice you will ever get is, "Hire a good Tax Professional".
There is no reason to let them gut you like a fish. Don't do it.

Posted by: K. D. Zu on June 16, 2006 03:33 PM

I have been there myself inabout the same shape. We worked a deal where I paid every month for nearly ten gotdam years but I finally paid out. From then on it was a CPA to do my taxes.

Posted by: GUYK on June 16, 2006 04:19 PM

And you are whining why??

Who was it that decided not to do their taxes properly and pay the right amount in the first place??? Whine to HIM..

Posted by: Jim on June 16, 2006 04:50 PM

All I need is your address. I like your writing. I like your style.

Posted by: jcatara on June 16, 2006 05:49 PM

Did you have a professional do your taxes for you that year? Some of them have a "We'll pay the penalties if we screw up" guarantee. Check that one out if you used a pro.

And I'll say it again... you should promote these guys so the next generation doesn't have to deal with this shit:

http://www.fairtax.org/

Posted by: Strider on June 16, 2006 05:53 PM

DO NOT talk to the IRS without an attorney or CPA; they will always settle for less but you need professional help to avoid giving them your last drop of blood.

Posted by: maxnnr on June 16, 2006 06:28 PM

Rob, if a person were to want to help you out, by making a financial contribution to the 'Save Acidman' fund, how would he go about doing it? Don't suppose you have a PayPal account?

Posted by: Ryan on June 16, 2006 06:31 PM

I'm not blegging yet. I'm gonna talk to some pros first. I have 30 days to reply to the notice I received today, and I'm gonna use at least 21 of them to get advice from all possible avenues before I respond.

But... in MY humble opinion... this is worse than highway robbery.

Posted by: Acidman on June 16, 2006 07:49 PM

Actually the blegathon my be the right idea :>

I'm not 100% sure, but I don't believe that you would have to consider it income, as you are allowed to receive a certain amount (unknown to me right now) as a gift without penalties.

Then again, I might just be off my rocker and not have a clue.

Posted by: Richard on June 16, 2006 09:11 PM

If I had bothered to read the other comments first, I might have seen that Crom had already pointed it out, with the amount. My bad.

Posted by: Richard on June 16, 2006 09:12 PM

Box up your music stuff, sell the Crackerbox, and get your ass to CR post haste!

You think the BC raped you? Just wait until Uncle Sam sticks his dick in your ass.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on June 16, 2006 09:48 PM
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