Gut Rumbles
 

June 04, 2006

it's a conspiracy!

I blame terrorists. Or drug pushers. Or disgruntled postal workers.

All I know for sure is... I've seen several stories like this one lately, and that crap frightens the hell out of me.

It's one thing to shoot at me, wire my automobile ignition switch to a bomb under the driver's seat, or sic a divorce lawyer on my ass with the intention of stealing everything that I own. In a perverse sort of way, I can UNDERSTAND that kind of mindless behavior. Some angry people really enjoy being total assholes.

But when nut-balls start planting SNAKES in cars and airplanes... well, that's just going a step too far in viciousness and cruelty. I would much rather have somebody throw a live hand grenade at me than leave a got-dam snake in my vehicle.

Not even one of my ex-wives has stooped THAT low yet, and they both can limbo under a stick layin' flat on the ground. They may get some really good ideas for making me miserable or dead that they haven't tried yet if they keep reading such stories in the news.

Snakes!!!. Sweet Bejus! I ain't afraid of dying, but I damn sure don't want to do it of a heart attack while I drown in my own shit. In a car or an airplane. In the dark. When I'm alone... with a got-damn snake crawling over me!

We live in a crazy world.

Comments

"Yet" is the operative word. Now that they know about your fear of snakes you better watch out and get yourself a mongoose.

Posted by: Ivan Ivanovich on June 4, 2006 09:08 AM

I hate those legless bastards with every fiber of my being.

Posted by: hoosierboy on June 4, 2006 09:52 AM

I am not afraid of snakes but I do have a lot of respect for them.Very few in the USA will hurt you but they damn well can startle you enough that you hurt yourself.

Posted by: GUYK on June 4, 2006 12:37 PM

"No matter what happens, fly the plane.''

Heh. Damn good advice.

Posted by: Jeffro on June 4, 2006 02:22 PM

Aha! Just like the movie that's coming out: "Snakes on a Plane!"

You planning to go see it?

Posted by: Desert Cat on June 4, 2006 10:18 PM

I'm willing to wager that if you ever had a hand grenade thrown at you and survived... next time you'd opt for the snake.

Posted by: middy on June 5, 2006 02:31 PM
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