Gut Rumbles
 

May 19, 2006

we're from the IRS, and we're here to help you

I'll admit that 2004 was a confusing year for my income taxes. I took a lump-sum retirement and I rolled over a hefty 401-K account into an IRA. I talked with TWO fricking accountants and I called Oklahoma City SEVERAL times to try and learn about my tax obligations.

I never got a straight answer from ANYONE, because I am convinced that tax laws today confuse them as much as they do me. I was NOT trying to cheat. In fact, I let the feds have $40,000 of MY money, that I spent 23 FARKING YEARS earning. And I by-gawd earned it, too. THEY didn't.

Now, I get THIS letter in the mail:

Dear Robert M. Smith:

"Thank you for your response on April 1st, 2006. We will contact you again within 30 days to let you know what action we are taking. If you owe any additional tax, you should consider paying it now, because we will charge interest on any unpaid account."

What the fuck do I owe? THEY don't know, and neither do I. How about ME sending THEM a letter that says, "I paid you $40,000 for NOTHING in 2004. How about kissing MY Cracker ass and leaving ME alone? Plus, I want INTEREST from the money you confused bastids can't handle but you STOLE from me."

I can see it now: I'm gonna end up in jail over this.

Comments

Na, no jail. Some whining liberal in the IRS is pulling your chain. I'd get a lawyer, track the sucker down and put him in the poor house. I doubt that the leadership in the IRS will condone or defend anyone on something like this.

Posted by: Scrapiron on May 19, 2006 08:54 PM

At least in jail you'd get free medical care...

Posted by: anonymous on May 19, 2006 09:15 PM

The IRS--your tax dollars at work!

Posted by: Kevin on May 19, 2006 10:36 PM

Before you decided to retire, shoulda consulted an estate planner. Would have cost ya, but would have saved all this. You can still do it if you still have all your paper work.

We are a nation of laws. Yes you get to pay for them.

Posted by: Cupcake on May 19, 2006 11:27 PM

I understand all to well. My accountant called, on April 14th, saying "we needed to talk". So I staggered over with my checkbook and payed my additional-not-pro-rated-share of taxes to the fed.

I hate the fed. I hate every GD dollar they take from me and and resent their ease at pissing it away. Now I'm thinking twice about my accountant. It's only paranoia if you *think* they're all out to get you.

I am a corporation. Hey, maybe I should start killing baby seals! I'd sure as hell feel better.

Posted by: Maricopa Mark on May 20, 2006 12:41 AM

Smif--

Same gummint that took us to war in Iraq with NO evidence of WMD's.

Same gummint that makes more in taxes from barrels of oil than does Exxon.

Same gummint that Billy Beck (Google) ridicules regularly, yet even he, the most lucid human being I have encountered, falls dumb to the issue of war-making.

The instant the thought strikes you that gummint intends to own you thoroughly, you will have come to the side upon which I stand, and your previous sniping at me will become obvious for the empty sniping it always was.

Or you can refute my words, and prove yourself (NOT me) wrong.

You have the opportunity, and ability, to lead many in the right direction, Rob. You have all the clues to do so. Or . . .

You can slam me.

But if you do so, you merely make your own complaints empty and void.

I apologize for having gotten to this point ahead of you while having pissed you off so much in the past having pissed you off so much in the past--

But it is encouraging to see that you are finally realizing the central truth of gummint, and that a Bush is a Kerry is a Gore is a Clinton in the end, because all are bottom feeder catfish.

What the USSR could not accomplish, the USA has. Marx was right--capitalism would, and has--caved in to materialism.

Beck would have to agree.

You do, too, even if you won't admit it--except you keep saying so!

Of course, you can excoriate me or delete me for posting too much or too long (this is a matter of ethics, so I will watch closely), but you have never attempted to undo one of my arguments, simply because, logically, you know you do agree with me--though perhaps not in your responses to my comments, but I can scroll through your voluminous archives and use YOUR own words to verify my own.

The "war" on "terrorism" (an abstract if ever there was an abstract), is an excuse to extend gummint's power over your life and mine. Only an ignoramus could argue to the contrary. My many previous constitutionally "nutted" arguments, to use your colloquilaisms, only proved that "war" is but the furthest extension of the gummint's "fuck you" attitude toward the free citizens of America, and those in every other nation.

You are pissed about taxes . . . well, golly, gee, families in Iraq are pissed about family members getting killed for no good reason at all.

Defend your site, defend your indefensible defense of gummint in war while you bitch about every other single facet of gummint.

But don't bitch about me--I have seen through the charade this whole mess has become. You are JUST NOW ecoming aware of it.

It sucked from the beginning, and I had the total honesty to tell you so.

You have tried to make an ass of me for doing so.

As Chesterton said: "The truth will still be lacing up its shoes while the lie has raced halfway round the world."

I got to--3 years ago--where you are just now getting. Make an ass of me again, Rob, or make a friend again.

Once . . . we were.

Jeff

Posted by: jb on May 20, 2006 02:44 AM

Watch OUT Rob, with friends like jb you WON'T need ANY enemies!!

LOL ;)

Posted by: BB on May 20, 2006 07:04 AM

JB! Well, no one else is likely to admit it but I've missed you.

Posted by: Libby on May 20, 2006 07:26 AM

If you think you are mad now, just wait until the AMT catches up with you.

Imagine losing ALL your deductions suddenly one year, except for charity. I get hit with the AMT because the IRS decided I had too many deductions. The only deductions I have are my home mortage interest (which is modest) and state taxes. Since I live in a high tax state, (Maryland), the IRS figures I should pay more to them, too. This is sheer robbery. You would think the IRS would sue Maryland for taking too much money from its citizens.

Well, nobody cares if you haven't got hit with the AMT yet. But, the charities should. I won't give a cent to any charity until the AMT goes away.

Posted by: joel Hammer on May 20, 2006 07:58 AM

jb, you must be a real hoot at parties.

Posted by: rightisright on May 20, 2006 09:52 AM

Money Magazine used to do a feature each year with a complicated tax problem; they would ask 5-6 accountants/tax lawyers for an answer. They would get 5-6 different answers. Tax code is hopeless thousands of pages;contradictory. AMT is a middle class killer.

Posted by: maxnnr on May 20, 2006 10:07 AM

Talk about bleeding a pig dry....after 40,000...what more could they want from you?

Posted by: Sandy on May 20, 2006 10:33 AM

jb...you don't sleep at night do you?

Posted by: marcl on May 20, 2006 12:03 PM

Oh Jeezus fuck...
jb, the ASSHOLE is back again?

Kill me now.

He should not only be banned, someone oughta take away his computer, break all his fingers and duct tape his fuckin' MOUTH SHUT.

CHRIST, I hate that jerkoff.

blah, blah, blah, spew drivel, blah, blah *huge intake of air* blah, blah, blah, puke, blah, blah....
endless horseshit from a true horse's asshole.
THAT is jb.

God help us all.
And, for the record...
I didn't miss his stupid ass on fuckin' BIT.

Fuck.

Posted by: Stevie on May 20, 2006 03:02 PM

What are you doing paying taxes? Ask around. Find an accountant.

Although your $40,000 allowed some umarried black or hispanic welfare queen section eight housing, food stamps and healthcare, thus allowing her to divert her own funds for a nice shiny Lexus. I guess that's the bright side. Not for you, of course- but a bright side nonetheless for her. Also keep in mind that as her benefactor, she and millions like her are convinced of your inherent racism.

Forty thousand dollars, huh? That's a shame.

Posted by: Pert Moody Newt on May 20, 2006 03:29 PM

LOL Stevie. This is why I like you so much. You don't pull your punches but I think we all missed him to some degree or another. Even if you hate what he says, he's not so different from us. He's not afraid to say what he thinks and you have to admit, he sparked up the comment section with his sudden reappearance.

I say welcome back. I give the guy credit for being willing to be kicked around like a human pinata to promote his beliefs and I think debate is healthy.

Of course, it's not really up to me. Guess we should wait and see what the big guy has to say about it.

Posted by: Libby on May 20, 2006 08:03 PM

Well, I didn't really mean to get so vitriolic in my Blog-Faddah's comments *kisses Rob's ring*, but that guy just gets on my dick nerve.

He never shuts (the fuck) up, says the same shit over and over again, insults Rob and just acts like, or is, a total ass.

Besides which, I think I'm getting a little pre-PMS-y, which, with this dipshit being back, is redundant.
He is PMS personified.
(Irritating, pointless, stupid... you know what I mean. I just wish he was a "once a month" thing too...)

Posted by: Stevie on May 20, 2006 10:51 PM

Stevie, Stevie, Stevie . . .

You are wonderful. You get it, without getting it, but you are so delightful as you do not get it.

Yes, I do say the same thing over and over again--because "constitutionality" demands that of Americans. I am sincerely sorry that you do not believe in your Constitution, but please reconsider your harshness toward me--I believe in the document that defines us as Americans . . . that you do not--well--that is your problem. Seriously. And if you would like to take it up point by point--

Then e-mail me and we can have an intelligent discussion about the document that defines us. If you choose just to shoot your barbs--well--I guess you shoot barbs. Coherency and definition are wonderful things--I would suggest you give both some serious thought.

As to Rob--he is slowly admitting his growing lack of affiliation with government. If you had two cents worth of constitutional understanding, you would be rooting him on as do I.

But you are unable to argue constitutionally, so you are resigned to making ad hominem arguments and name-calling.

You must be a Democrat.

LOL

Posted by: jb on May 21, 2006 03:57 AM

Hell, I remember a study where they took twelve copies of the same information on one taxpayer, gave a copy each to twelve IRS agents and said "Get me the best deal you can". NONE of them got the same answer, some had various refunds, some had various additional payments, and I think one had it come out even.

Ever called the IRS with a tax question? Hard to get a straight-up answer. And if they give you bad info and you use it, they take no responsibility for having given you bad info, it's YOUR fault.

Posted by: Mark on May 21, 2006 08:40 AM

Hey, was Sanford Stadium at U. Ga. named after Fred Sanford? It's the big one, I'm coming home to you, Elizabeth!

Posted by: Cappy on May 21, 2006 08:43 AM

JB don't make me sorry I stood up for you. That last post of yours verged on a trollish ad hominem against Stevie. Argue your points and leave the personal attacks out of it. I'm sure Stevie understands the constitution just as well as you do and you're not going to win any converts to your POV with mockery.

As I recalled you used to be able to make your arguments without it. If my memory is faulty and you really have "gone nutty," then I take back my endorsement.

Posted by: Libby on May 21, 2006 09:34 AM

Libby

I stand corrected. I resorted to what others have used against me, and you rightfully called me on it.

Thanks for the correction, and the positive plug.

;-)

Posted by: jb on May 21, 2006 01:56 PM

See?
SSDD... he's such a monotonous one-note-man.

He seems to be incapable of recognizing that I don't care what subject it is that he's droning on endlessly about, nor do I give a rat's hairy ass what his "points" are.

The fact is he is entirely too long-winded, redundant and, yes, insulting. But, I'd rather his juvenile taunts be aimed at me than Rob.

If he weren't so goddamned irritating, I could almost feel sorry for him, having to come here to compensate for the attention his mother OBVIOUSLY never gave him as a child and the cajones his father didn't pass on that he could use to start his own blog.
But, he'll never do that because he knows as well as I do that the only person he'd be talking to would be himself.
And, he can that outloud.

It's not like this guy is some really good friend of Rob's that has to be tolerated if you want to "see" Rob.
Not even a little bit.
All he is, is a pompous, while at the same time extraordinarily banal, ass.
Whom, by the way, needs to FOAD (since he can't seem to STFU).
Further, if he can only do one of the aforementioned things, I'm leaning strongly toward
the latter half of the first acronym...

Posted by: Stevie on May 21, 2006 02:15 PM

Oh God...
If you have indeed been the recipient of a PLUG, could you USE it please and give everybody here* a BREAK?

(And, by "here", I mean the whole goddamned PLANET?)

Posted by: Stevie on May 21, 2006 02:18 PM

Oh my Gawd...
You are a completely clueless, blithering idiot.

I do not give shit one about "the Constitution" or anything ELSE you blather on about.

The point is, Pinhead, I do not like YOU.
You have, in the past, "spoken" to Rob like he's a retarded child.
You to this DAY have no respect when you show up here.
You are boring and long-winded AND redundant and I'm so completely unimpressed by you that I can't even articulate it.
When I see you here, it gives me mental heartburn.
I admit, I hate it.

When I see a foot long comment, ended with your initials, it makes me physically ill, because I know we're in store for copious amounts of endless horseshit from a guy who is so in love with himself, he can't recognize himself for the utter asshole he is.
And, one thing I cannot brook is an asshole who is SUCH an asshole they don't even know how much of an asshole they are.
Like you.

If, in four years, you haven't been able to reform, convince or change Rob, as you seem to want to do soo badly, then why don't you take the hint and piss off?
(I suspect it's because you really are THAT stupid, but clue me in, anyway...)

I just don't like you.
Got that?
I don't give a good Gotdamn WHAT you're talking about, what your point is or why you feel a need to espouse it so often and so trollishly.

I just wish you'd get a clue and a life.
Or, at the very least, if you MUST come here, I wish you'd knock off the proverbial "shitting in the middle of Rob's carpet" and pointing to it and screeching over and over again "Lookit what I did, lookit what I did", like a hen who has just laid her first egg.

Simply put, you treat Rob like shit, I hate you.
End of story.
I just WISH it was the end of YOU.
(And, it is, for me...)

Posted by: Stevie on May 21, 2006 03:40 PM

See, Libby?

There is no coherent discussion here.

It's all "agree with Rob or die."

Yeah, sure.

Stevie--get a grip! Do you even read the words you write?

I suspect not. You do get pretty emotional.

Paint your toe nails red and prove you allegiance or something, but chill out no matter what.

:-)

Posted by: jb on May 21, 2006 03:44 PM

Don't come crying to me JB. I think you deserved that reaming. Stevie's right. It's not your house and you know damn well that people don't agree with your POV here. Don't show up expecting to be greeted with sweets and roses. Frankly I think you're too long-winded for your own good myself. You're not paying for the bandwidth if you know what I mean.

I thought you were the guy who used to post some interesting counterpoint to Rob's arguments. Maybe I have you mixed up with somebody else.


Posted by: Libby on May 21, 2006 03:55 PM

And by the way, the smiley face does NOT excuse your last crack about red toenails. If you're just here to insult the regs, then please go away.

Posted by: Libby on May 21, 2006 03:57 PM

Um...there's no link on jb's name - does he/she have a blog? Just curious...

Posted by: Lisa on May 21, 2006 06:07 PM

Oh, hell no...
Of course not.

However, Rob did once post a link to some kinda crap he'd written and there was a picture, too.
Check the archives... it wasn't that long ago...

Posted by: Stevie on May 21, 2006 06:35 PM

Stevie

Do you lack sufficient courage to take me on, one-on-one, ON THE ISSUES?

You are wonderful at shitbagging someone, but can you deal with the issues?

I CHALLENGE you to a debate--in open, in front of everyone. Instead of your dirt-mouthed comments, prove yourself.

Or YOU STFU. Put your intelligence where your mouth is, or park it.

You have my e-mail--post me--we can set up a blog, and let the audience decide which of us knows what, or which is talking bullshit.

Put up or shut up, plain and simple.

;-)

Posted by: jb on May 21, 2006 07:33 PM

Hell, JB, I'd host THAT debate on my blog...just to see/enjoy the reaming that Stevie and/or Libby would give you.

You are sophmoric in everything I've ever seen you post.

Yelling that the Constitution forbids this or that and that Government is the root of all evil in everything ignores the fact the neither of them stands alone.

The Constitution in and of itself means nothing unless there is an agreed upon body (government) to uphold it.

The Constitution is merely the basic framework of government that our society has collectively agreed to go by.

There are excesses in government, I agree, and thats why the Constitution is there; as a standard to judge by so we can correct those excesses.
But without Government, there is nothing to ensure that those are the standards by which we will interact in as a society.

Posted by: Delftsman3 on May 21, 2006 09:34 PM

Delftsman you hit that right on the head. Too bad it'll go right over the head of our Beck reading "scholar."

Posted by: Libby on May 21, 2006 09:48 PM

On a completely different note, is anyone getting nervous because A-man hasn't posted in two days since he put up this depressing post and three days ago he was threatening to get drunk because he hurt so bad?

Not that I'm nervous, just asking....

Posted by: Libby on May 21, 2006 09:57 PM

Actually, yeah...
I've been wondering too...

Though, I've not heard anything from Cat and I'm sure he call me or something, if anything was wrong...

Posted by: Stevie on May 21, 2006 10:51 PM

Oh please......this 'jb' fuck nugget isn't worth the powder to blow him/her/it to Hell.

He/she/it is looking for attention since the pork chop fell off a few days ago.

Probably one of those dorks that sits in front of the computer 22 hours a day looking for something to give him that warm-n-fuzzy feeling.

In other words - dick cheese.

Posted by: Mad Mikey on May 22, 2006 12:31 AM

Maybe we should all pitch in to buy JB a ticket to Puerto Rico so he can find the secret "real" headquarters of the IRS.

Posted by: McGehee on May 22, 2006 11:01 AM

Rob, the bad news: You - Are - Fucked.

The good news: It - Is - Free.

Posted by: maggot on May 22, 2006 11:16 AM

I just talked with Robbie, I got an update on my blog, Cat

Posted by: Catfish on May 22, 2006 12:52 PM

As long as it's a ONE WAY ticket, McGehee....

And, actually... now that I think about it, I believe that a one way ticket to Iraq would be better.
(And, him with a "naked chick holding a bullseye" T-shirt on would be karma in action...)

Posted by: Stevie on May 22, 2006 02:44 PM

Acidman, are you dead? Its going on three days and no new post. Is it a sign you have gone on?

Posted by: Chaufist on May 22, 2006 07:07 PM

He's alive, he's just not doing too good right now.

Posted by: livey on May 22, 2006 09:46 PM

Y'all fall for the bait

Every time.

Shooting fish in a barrel.

Hope you're feeling better, Smif.

Posted by: jb on May 22, 2006 11:46 PM

I would like to see photos of both jb and stevie. I'd also like some fight stats. Things like reach. weight, age, height, etc. If you two would like to do it, let's get you two together and both of you can slug it out. We can determine a geographical mid-point. Rent some rooms for all here who might want to attend. I'll get a conference room in the hotel we all stay at. There will be a buffet table there and a ring where you two can settle this. After it's done, it's over. That's the end of the sassing and bitching. Of course, anyone else in the tribe can challenge the winner. But that has to be a different date. Here's a crystal ball preview of the action:

http://tinyurl.com/kzyha

It might be a great way to get together. A fight club of sorts, every two months or so.

Posted by: Pert Moody Newt on May 23, 2006 04:51 AM

Here is a touching remix featuring the women in Rob's family:

http://tinyurl.com/rhzqu

Notice only fists are used. The females in my tribe wield maces and dead livestock. And that's just foreplay.

Posted by: Pert Moody Newt on May 23, 2006 05:06 AM

I sure hope Rob is feeling better, the bs is getting deep in here. JB is just being his usual short bus special self and I do believe Stevie could kick his ass. JB is just another example of why brothers and sisters shouldn't marry.

Posted by: jamesoldguy on May 23, 2006 07:53 AM

What he really is is the reason why abortion should not only be legal, but mandatory in some cases.

That pussy mofo can't even respond to being "called out", as it were, at Xfire. You think he'd even show up some place where he'd literally get his ass kicked? Pffft.

I said I wasn't going to acknowledge his existence here in Rob's comments anymore and, except to answer or agree with a coupla others about him, I haven't. I took it home, where there're more places to hide a body... *weg*

He, on the other hand, said he was going to fuck off, then didn't.

And, if there's one thing I hate more than a whiny loser fuck who is so self-absorbed he can't even BEGIN to see what a piece of sub-human shit he is and further, refuses to understand how he proves it over and over with every keystroke and who seems to enjoy fucking with someone who has other, actually important issues to deal with and thus, does not need his shit, thereby making himself all the more hate-inspiring, it's a liar.

The ONLY "good" thing I can come up with about this dickhead is at least, thank CHRIST, he's not twins.
(Though, I do have this theory about him being a walkin', talkin' afterbirth that was kept when the baby was discarded...)

But seriously, if he was any kind of man AT ALL, we wouldn't even be having this discussion, would we?
He'd rather fuck with Rob, who has some pretty serious health issues to deal with instead of me, who is more than willing and able to remove his head and shit down his neck.
How utterly chickenshit of him...

Posted by: Stevie on May 23, 2006 01:06 PM

JB --

The IRS is after him and this proves that Bush LIIIIIEED about Iraq???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *breathe*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*snif* Oh, God. Trolls can be funny sometimes. Thanks for that. I think this beats out the time some moron called Baldilocks a chickenhawk....

Posted by: Strider on May 23, 2006 03:34 PM

Strider I think that moron was me and I got a bad rap on that one. I never called Baldi a chickenhawk, people just assumed I was implying it because I'm sort of a leftie.

Posted by: Libby on May 23, 2006 06:05 PM

Gentle Readers:
A piece of advice. Do not get between Stevie and Rob. That is like unto getting between a mama grizzly and her cub. It don't bode well. Trust me on this. I have the scars to prove it.

Posted by: Bloody But Wiser on May 23, 2006 09:49 PM

Dear Bloody But Wiser

Been there, done that before with Stevie.

But I confess--it is fun to watch the complete loss of perspective.

Not to mention, the complete unfamiliarity with the United States Constitution.

I had hoped, at least, a check into Beck might have somewhat tempered the response, but logic is not high on Stevie's list.

Folks don't like being challenged to think, and Stevie has certainly proved that adage true.

Bait the hook, and let it sink into the water. Fish respond in usual fashion. They do everything but turn the hook loose.

Heh.

Posted by: jb on May 23, 2006 10:20 PM
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