Gut Rumbles
 

May 14, 2006

this one's for you, jimbo

When I saw this story, I thought of my friend and fellow guitar-picker, jimbo, who has a deathly fear of alligators. I really want to take him down to Catfish Manor some day so that he can listen to 'em bark.

Heh. That sound might send him scurrying back to New Jersey as if his ass was on fire.

The 9-foot, 6-inch alligator was trapped just under the bridge where Yovy Suarez Jimenez, 28, was last seen, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokeswoman Dani Moschella said.

Two human arms were found inside the alligator's belly, Moschella said.

Pretty spooky, right? I just want to assure Jimbo that he has absolutely NOTHING to fear from alligators. A gator might devour a female jogger, but it would leave HIM alone. He has built-in protection growing on top of his head.

No gator alive today could swallow that much hair.

Comments

Just don't come paddling in Northern Australia.

No alligators, just giant crocodiles up to 20 feet long.
I once saw one swimming off Western Australia 7 nautical miles offshore with the back half of a calf in its jaws.
I think he was going for lunch with his girlfriend in Indonesia.

We nodded politely at each other, and I set and ran a course 180 degrees away very rapidly.

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on May 14, 2006 09:08 AM

Uh...... thanks, Rob.

Now, excuse me while I shit my pants.

Posted by: Jim - PRS on May 14, 2006 09:58 AM

These stories make me sick.
Why, you ask?
People have built all over Florida...filled in waterways and swamps to build...they have destroyed natural habitat for animals.
There's a part of me that says "good for the gator' ... stupid people.

Posted by: vicki on May 14, 2006 11:32 PM

I just heard over the radio (time is 1:30 A.M.) that "another" body has been found of a woman eaten by a gater here in Florida.
Wow! I've always thought that gators were kind'a neat. Ya' know, left overs from the dinosaur days. If this keeps up I hope they at least start eating yankees or even better yet illegal aliens. Maybe I should start carrying some 'big' heat again too.....

Posted by: Captain Harley on May 15, 2006 01:47 AM

It's just women they're eating...must be the smell...don't ya think?

Yankees or illegals are fine with me, too.
Then the Yanks won't move to the GA mountains when they get sick of FLA....don't want them here either.

Posted by: vicki on May 15, 2006 11:16 AM
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