Gut Rumbles
 

May 13, 2006

phone sex

I had phone sex last night. I couldn't help myself... aw, BULLSHIT!!! I COULDA helped myself, but I chose NOT to. I'm perverted that way.

Last night, I asked the question and I received an erotic answer. I LOVE IT when a woman has a sense of adventure!

Okay, I'm gonna ask ALL you wimmen readers: If I called you and asked you to describe your NIPPLES for me, would you do it? I have a pretty good ranking system, based on the caliber of bullets that I NEVER shoot from my non-existent guns. Are you a .45 snub-nose, or a .22 long? Do you pack a set of .38 Specials, or a pair of high-impact .30-.30s? Enquiring minds want to KNOW!

I also require information about your background settings... the size and color of the plate that your nipples rest upon. I've seen some that are as big as beach balls, but I prefer small mushroom-caps myself. Those seem to be more appreciative of attention in MY scientific research. But I could be wrong. MORE research is needed.

So, here is my Question of the Day: Can YOU describe YOUR nipples in ten words or less? (You are FORBIDDEN to use the word "rose" or "rosy.")

Go for it.

Comments

Don't forget the ever important question of pebbly or smooth.
Ah! Variety IS the spice of life.

Posted by: BlogDog on May 13, 2006 10:02 AM

....my nipples are pink - the left one sports a freckle..

Posted by: Eric on May 13, 2006 10:14 AM

My nipples are for worshiping.

Posted by: Maeve on May 13, 2006 10:17 AM

I like the ones that look like a starter button on a '40 Ford.

Posted by: James Hooker- cat worshiper on May 13, 2006 10:34 AM

LMAO at James...too funny - I remember a guy I used to work with describing nipples with "braille" - the little bumps around the actual nipple.

Posted by: Lisa on May 13, 2006 10:47 AM

A lot of stars are photographed with satin teddies and headlights shining... you have to imagine the wonders that await...

Posted by: Vermont Neighbor on May 13, 2006 11:04 AM

It depends on my mood. I prefer the man describe my nippoles as he worships them. I was told long ago that my saucer sized areolas were sexy, but they seem to be shrinking. I don't understand the fascination men have with these mounds of fat anyway.

Posted by: livey on May 13, 2006 12:24 PM

I've got one on the left & two on the right. None are equal in size or color.

Yeah, I'm the freak 'round here.

Posted by: Richthofen on May 13, 2006 12:41 PM

Mine are perky and responsive, and each one is surrounded by a sexy ring of long black hairs.

Posted by: Steve H. on May 13, 2006 01:21 PM

The only problem with phone sex is you still just ended up jacking yourself off!! :(

Nipples are fun to play with as well as the rest of the package they dome with. But Whorshipped? Fark that! Toy, fondle, tongue, caress, mouth and suckle, yes, very nice activities.

Posted by: TC on May 13, 2006 01:24 PM

LMFAO at Steve H... ah, the joys of hairy nippleage...

Posted by: Lisa on May 13, 2006 05:18 PM

Circular pat of light chocolate adorned by a coffeebean (on top of a warm cup of heavy cream).

Minus the parens, that's 9.

Posted by: Surfie on May 14, 2006 06:36 PM

"I don't understand the fascination men have with these mounds of fat anyway"

Watched a show on the Discovery Channel a while back and this attraction was described by an "expert" on human sexuality(he actually made sense to me). He said that men are attracted to breasts because they actually resemble ass cheeks. If you think about it, early man probably fucked "animal style" long before he discovered good ole "missionary". It's hard-wired.

Russ, providin' knowledge :)

Posted by: Russ on May 15, 2006 08:57 AM
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