Gut Rumbles

May 11, 2006

pissin' and moanin'

Sometimes, life just sucks. Last night, I was restless, tossing and turning in my sleep, which meant that I didn't sleep much at all. Every time I tossed or turned, I awoke instantly to the feeling of hot knives, dull corkscrews and live electrical wires being jammed into my shoulders. I don't recall urinating on my pillow during the night, so I assume that it was damp this morning from the tears of pain I shed every time I moved. I had to crawl out of bed in slow, miserable stages.

Got-dam. My appointment with the osteopathic sports-medicine doctor isn't until Monday. I don't know if I can last that long. I swear that the range of motion in my arms is half what it was two weeks ago and the pain is twice as bad. If this progression continues, by Monday I won't be able to wipe my own ass anymore. (If THAT happens, I guess I'll find out who my REAL friends are...)

I've got tomatoes and squash producing like gangbusters in my garden. I'll probably be picking some of those in another week or two. Budding baby bells decorate my pepper plants and my okra is beginning to bloom. The corn and the beans look good, too. But I fear that all my produce is gonna be choked to death by the profusion of weeds rapidly taking over the entire garden. I need to get out there and perform some serious weeding, but I can't because of my ailing shoulders. I'm gonna have to go with alternate plan "B:" just throw enough fertilizer out there to feed EVERYTHING and hope that my plants can compete with the invading alien pod-creatures.

Once upon a time, when I was idealistic and naive, I listened to idiotic politicians saying stupid things and thought, "Nobody is dumb enough to believe THAT shit." I never say that anymore. I now am convinced that NOTHING is too dumb for large numbers of people to believe.

I was curious about what would happen to my blog traffic after I was banned by google on the first of this month (May Day--- coincidence?). I lost a little more than 1,000 visitors per day. I'm pleasantly surprised by that number, because I really believed that it would be a lot worse. I guess that I had more actual readers than I thought. (I notice that "unknown" remains my top referral. What the hell does "unknown" mean on Site Meter?)

I think I'm going to have to give up drinking coffee. Again. I did that once because coffee started upsetting my stomach. Now it just wires the hell out of me. After a couple of cups, I feel as if I'm buzzed on amphetamines and about to crawl right out of my skin. It's not a pleasant feeling.

I'm not going to sail to Beliz this summer. I would love to, but I simply am not physically able to do it with my shoulders as fucked up as they are. Knowing what a lazy bastard Recondo 32 is, I figure that he invited me on the trip just because he needed a deck-monkey to wrestle the sheets and actually operate the boat for him while he sat on his ass and gave orders. I suspect that anyone who will drive three times around a Wal-Mart parking lot to find a handicapped parking spot ain't gonna do much work on a sailboat. He's going to need to recruit another pizz-boy.

Here's some Food For Thought, which I believe applies to most Americans today, especially those who answer opinion polls: "When you never pay attention, everything is a surprise."


Good move. I'm telling you, you did not want to sail across the Gulf, in the summer, in a 30' Morgan.

Posted by: Arcs on May 11, 2006 10:39 AM

Man, hope they can fix ya up. Don't know much about shoulders, but my husband has two new hips..and that worked out well. I think any kind of joint replacement surgery is pretty routine these days. You're like the bionic man, though, dude..geez.

Posted by: Kelly on May 11, 2006 10:50 AM

Don't worry about the weeds in your garden - they can act as a mulch, shading the roots, and holding moisure.

But, you can always stomp them out with your feet. Just give em a good whack. Therapeudic.

Posted by: Bonita on May 11, 2006 11:18 AM

Not a doctor, but you could have a frozen shoulder. Your description of how you are feeling sounds exactly like what I went through with a frozen shoulder. It does not require surgery - just extensive physical therapy and a good shot of cortizone. Anyway, I enjoy very much reading your blog. I hope you problem with your shoulder could be less invasive than you think.

Posted by: Donna on May 11, 2006 11:52 AM

I'd wipe your ass darlin. Do the exercises I gave you and remember heat, move, ice! If you don't you will be in worse shape!

Posted by: livey on May 11, 2006 12:15 PM

Maybe you just needed a good piece of pussy to knock your old ass out?

Posted by: Catfish on May 11, 2006 12:46 PM

I think the "unknown" referral comes from those who click on from a favorites bar instead of a blog roll. I get about half of what hits I get from unknown and a few from google and other search devices.

Only problem with fertilizing the weends is the sumbitches will grow faster than the veggies. Bonita is right though, sometimes you can just stomp on tghem to keep them down.

Had fresh tomatoes in my salad a few minutes ago..damn sight better than anything I can buy out of a produce market

Posted by: GUYK on May 11, 2006 12:57 PM

Sorry about all that pain. Are pain pills discouraged for ex-drinkers? You might try acupuncture. I wouldn't, but some people swear by it. As for the garden, hire a Mexican! :)

Posted by: MJH on May 11, 2006 01:06 PM

Night sweats are a symptom of aortic dissection, as is shoulder pain. You may want to see a cardiologist. Have you ever had an generic echocardiogram or a transesophageal echocardiogram done?

Aortic dissection killed John Ritter at the young age of 54.

Posted by: Renee on May 11, 2006 02:31 PM

Just wanted to add that if the night "tears" are a sudden symptom, you may want to hurry up on that trip to the cardiologist or urgent care center.

Posted by: Renee on May 11, 2006 02:35 PM

Weeds are bad, but hurt'n to pull them is worse. As long as they don't keep you from the treasure hunt of searching for a harvest? Hey... things could be worse.

I'm still waiting for a picture of your garden, dear.


Posted by: Nancy on May 11, 2006 03:17 PM

Unknown is a "favorites" link. But you knew that from above.

Posted by: Terry on May 11, 2006 05:13 PM

Let me know...we'll come pull your weeds for ya.

Posted by: BabsRN on May 11, 2006 05:56 PM

Hope the aches and pains are nuthin serious and that they get better.

Homegrown veggies.....yum. If you ever get to a point where you just need to get rid of some, I'll come get them.

Posted by: Miss Fire on May 11, 2006 07:15 PM

Maybe you could hire the neighbor kids to pull the weeds.

Also, you might want to call your doctor and ask to speak with a consulting nurse. Sometimes when they hear what your symptoms are, they'll squeeze you in for an immediate appointment.

Feel better soon!

Posted by: DogsDontPurr on May 11, 2006 07:45 PM

I remember my shoulder pains being the worst at night, with intense pain and stiffening-up. Couldn't lay on my side, or the compression on shoulder socket nerves would cause impingement. The cartilege had worn away. The way you sleep is important - don't put any pressure on the shoulders. (I prefer on my stomach, with arms over my head - it opens the sockets up. PT's say not to sleep on stomach, though.)

Posted by: Bonita on May 11, 2006 07:59 PM

"I now am convinced that NOTHING is too dumb for large numbers of people to believe."

Well yeah! Diddnt' Klinton get elected? TWICE??

Posted by: TC on May 12, 2006 03:32 AM

Rob, I believe the first time I found your blog (years ago) was through the blogroll over at Instapundit.
In fact, whenever I am at work and check you out, I get to you from Instapundit's blogroll still. I am confused though about this "banning by google". Not sure what you meant about them banning you because of your ads. Another blog I read all the time is dooce's and if you type in dooce at google you see her blog site listed at the top of the searches and her blog is loaded with ads now. So I am confused about the ads having something to do with it. Maybe someone will enlighten me. Just curious.

Posted by: Cindi on May 12, 2006 03:32 AM

wow, Google and their tricks.

Posted by: Vermont Neighbor on May 12, 2006 11:19 AM

Unknown is also from RSS feeds and such. Sounds like you're a "marked" man. ;-)

And damn - I hope you're feelin' better soon.

Posted by: Tammi on May 12, 2006 11:22 AM

Get your joints checked out and don't put it off any longer. Dad delayed getting his taken care of for almost two weeks(and he couldn't even use his arm) and it just at best delayed treating it and at worst, maybe made it a little worse.

That crap doesn't get better by itself.

Posted by: Mark on May 13, 2006 09:16 AM
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