Gut Rumbles
 

April 12, 2006

religibonics

In my mail today, I received a flyer from some obscure religious group. I didn't read the entire thing before I tossed it in the trash. I'm not interested in becoming religious at this point in my life, and even if I WERE, I wouldn't choose those people as my saviors. I got this far and quit:

"With God, all things is possible."

They speak religibonics! As an English Major, I really don't believe that I would fit in at their church. What are their Ten Commandments? Something like this?

1. "Thou shalt not put no other gods before me."

2. "Thou shalt not be making unto me no gravy image."

3. "Thou shalt not takes the name of the LORD thy God in vein."

4. "Remember the sabbath day, to keeps it holey.

5. "Honour thighs father and thighs mother."

6. "Thou shalt not kill nobody."

7. "Thou shalt not commit them adulteries."

8. "Don't be stealing nothin."

9. "Thou shalt not bare no false witnesses against thy neighbor, or nobody else even."

10. "Thou shalt not run around coveting stuff thy neighbor's got, especially not no ass, nor anything a'tall that are thy neighbor's."

The thought is there, but it just doesn't ring Biblical to me.

Comments

Oh, Lordy! Too funny. I saw a billboard at a church near Livingston, Texas last summer that said..."Someday when your burning your going to wish you had came here."

Really makes a person want to change "there" ways.

Posted by: Tessa on April 12, 2006 05:49 PM

You be right this time.

Posted by: TomCat on April 12, 2006 08:19 PM

Heeeheeeheeheeheehe.....

Posted by: BabsRN on April 12, 2006 11:01 PM

Word.

Posted by: Henry Blowfly on April 13, 2006 12:51 AM

Good response!

I must ask...

Did you remember all 10 Commndments without looking them up?

I do, but that's because my mother placed a high priority on Bible-memorizing.

Posted by: karrde on April 13, 2006 11:52 AM
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