Gut Rumbles
 

March 31, 2006

deadly menace

Aha! At last we have solid, scientific evidence that excessive use of cell phones causes brain tumors. That explains why a lot of cell phone users act as if they don't have a brain at all, especially when driving a car. They're not stupid. They're tumorized.

Okay, now we know that people who can't go anywhere or do anything without talking on a cell phone are sick, diseased, cancerous and disgusting. That fact still doesn't excuse their selfish, discourteous behavior and they all still need to be dragged off and shot for being royal assholes. If they're all gonna die anyway, let's speed up the natural process and put a bounty on 'em. Call it mercy killing. Make the world a better place.

Of course, serial cell phone yakkers don't see anything wrong with what they do. THAT'S how fucked-up they are. They are exactly like this guy, who didn't see a damn thing wrong or dangerous in driving down the road with a snake wrapped around his neck.

When authorities caught up with Johnson at his home, he told them he crashed into another car that had stopped short in front of him. After questioning, Johnson admitted he panicked when his snake bit him.

Check that guy for a brain tumor. He makes cell phone abusers look sane.

Comments

The problem is, from what I remember of drivers before the advent of cell phones, they were just as clueless. With some of these people, a tumor might be an improvement over their brain...

Posted by: BobG on March 31, 2006 05:31 PM

Now we know. Brain tumors cause ignorance.

Posted by: scrapiron on March 31, 2006 08:56 PM

i'm with you, If they only saw/heard themselves sometimes. I've heard women saying all kinds of things in public for everyone to hear. The men seem better out in public, on average they're pretty quiet in the stores and such.

Posted by: Treasa on April 1, 2006 12:23 PM

What a moron. I hope the snake bit him in the dick.

Posted by: Lisa on April 1, 2006 07:37 PM
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