Gut Rumbles
 

March 29, 2006

bad hair day

I am in a quandry. Whatever will I do with my hair?

I gave myself a physical inspection after I took a shower today. My belly doesn't appear to be as distended as it was. The mark from the surgery is just a pink line down my belly, which is one benefit of being too skinny for my own good. I don't have any gut-fat to make a hideous, puckered scar. In fact, once my belly-hair grows back, you might have to look really hard to even FIND the scar...

But whoever shaved me for the surgery didn't shave just the belly-hair. No, that person took a trip into the lush, tropical rain forest of my crotchital region with the razor and shaved about half of THAT off, too. It don't look good.

I'm slick as a newborn babe from just under my nipples to a Line of Demarcation at the base of my Roscoe. Everything below that line is just as furry as it ever was; everything above it is bare. Now I'm wondering whether or not I should do some trimming of my own to try and make the two halves match up a little better. Hell--- if I shave EVERYTHING, it won't be the first time I've done that.

I dunno, though. If I just leave well enough alone, it'll all grow back by itself eventually. If I shave everything off, I'll either have to keep it that way or go through the itching, uncomfortable process allowing it form a soft beard again. Maybe I'll just keep my pants on and forget about it.

Or MAYBE... if one of you lovely ladies remain interested in "nursing" me back to health, YOU can drop by and handle a little barber-work for me. I promise to be VERY nice to you when you have a sharp razor in one hand and my Roscoe in the other. In fact, that's probably as nice as I'll ever be to anyone in my life.

Any volunteers?

Comments

Yep. He's feeling much better now.

Posted by: Tessa on March 29, 2006 03:50 PM

Just one question;

Would you like me to apply aftershave?


:)

Posted by: Misty on March 29, 2006 04:27 PM

I suggest leaving well enough alone - you don't want all that itchiness going on. You could always go for body sugaring instead if you don't want to shave, though...maybe some hot little mama down there will do it for ya....

Posted by: Lisa W on March 29, 2006 04:53 PM

Let me be the first to say....TMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Steve H. on March 29, 2006 05:31 PM

Steve H.: I guess you haven't been around here very long if you think that post was TMI.

*wink*

Posted by: DogsDontPurr on March 29, 2006 05:38 PM

You better trim it up before Austin Texas.

Posted by: Catfish on March 29, 2006 05:45 PM

Call Jennifer Lopez. I hear she can hold 3 or 4 Roscoes in her mouth at the same time. :-)

Glad to see you're up and around Rob.

Posted by: assrot on March 29, 2006 06:01 PM

*Evil grin*

Posted by: Maeve on March 29, 2006 07:02 PM

"Would you like me to apply aftershave?"

If you promise to use the tubular applicator, of course! :P

No need to shave, just trim it up, you avode the itching, the cuts and of course ingrown hairs too!

Posted by: TC on March 29, 2006 07:50 PM

Eh, just trim it up with a beard trimmer...The you'll have no itching at least...enjoy!

Posted by: Steph on March 29, 2006 08:00 PM

... shave it all, man.... it'll help you focus and steady your nerves... nothing says "pay attention" like a razor against your scrotum....

Posted by: Eric on March 29, 2006 11:05 PM

What's TMI?

Posted by: Libby on March 30, 2006 08:20 AM

TMI = "too much information"

Posted by: Maeve on March 30, 2006 08:56 AM

Oh -- thanks Maeve. I'd have to agree with DogsDontPurr then. Compared to shit blogging, this is hardly TMI.

Personally, I think you should leave it alone A-man. Think of it as Roscoe having a matching goatee to one on your face. ;-}

Posted by: Libby on March 30, 2006 09:48 AM

Rob, get a picture and submit it to ConsumptionJunction.com -- you'll be famous.

Posted by: McGehee on March 30, 2006 10:04 AM

well, in my humble opinion... it's no fun having to stop... umm... something.... to pick hair out of your mouth. Consider what you like on a woman and give her the same curtesy.

Posted by: livey on March 30, 2006 10:12 AM

Frig shaving the "lower level"... I vote you shave the head..get one gold earring hoop.....curb your mouth......and we'll rename you Mr. Clean.

Posted by: Maggie on March 30, 2006 01:32 PM
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