Gut Rumbles
 

March 24, 2006

shit! Just shit!

I had another bad day yesterday. Bejus! After more than a week of "recovery," I have reached one inescapable conclusion: your abdominal cavitity is NOT your friend. And it does NOT like to be fucked with. It can be a downright vengeful bastard.

I made a mistake this morning. I took a shower and then looked at my nekkid self in the bathroom mirror. Shit. The sight was enough to make me want to curl up on the floor in a fetal position and weep for my mama. My arms resemble matchsticks with loose skin hanging in wrinkled folds where muscles used to be. My belly is still swollen and distended. I look like a Biafran famine victim.

Just to be certain, I stepped on the bathroom scale. Shit. I weigh 130 pounds. In three week's time, I've lost almost every bit of the weight I gained back during and after rehab. I'm right back to where I started from five months ago, except I hurt a lot worse now. Yeah, that trip to the mailbox and back is a real journey again on weak, wobbly legs.

I got sober for this? Shit.

I am depressed. I've always thought that I was a pretty tough guy, but I'm starting to have my doubts now. Everybody has their limits and I believe that I'm rapidly reaching mine. Right now, it hurts to breathe.

I keep telling myself that I HAVE to get better, that it's just a matter of healing, so hang in there, but every time I think I'm past the worst, this crap jumps up and bites me again. Shit. That's a got-dam torturer's trick--- give the victim a little relief, then turn up the voltage on the cattle prod for the next session. (It's a good trick, too. Very demoralizing.) Shit.

If I sound like I'm pissing and moaning, that's because I AM. My give-a-damn is busted.

Comments

It takes time to heal and the older you get the longer it takes... hang in there.. and bitch about it all you like, :)

Posted by: Jackie on March 24, 2006 12:08 PM

Not a day goes by that I don't thank the lord for my good health. We're the same age Rob and I know whoever said if you have good health, you have everything.

Hang on man, you're in my prayers too.

Posted by: MM on March 24, 2006 12:13 PM

Hang in there. We're all in this together. I could send you about forty pounds of fat, if you like. I'd be glad to get rid of it.

Posted by: og on March 24, 2006 12:34 PM

Stop whining you big sissy! Take it like a man! (Better yet, take it like a Woman, cause they are MUCH stronger than we...) You perf'ed the doggone thing now you gotta pay the price! Life ain't fair! Two wrongs don't make a right (but three lefts do)... I have a lovely pair of coconuts... Last one in is a rotten egg... Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

Anyway... hope you feel better soon. As a loyal lurker I very much enjoy your blog. Hang in there man, you are doing the right thing, and this too shall pass.

John V.

Posted by: John V. on March 24, 2006 12:35 PM

.. chicken soup, man.... you need some chicken soup.... it cures everything....

Posted by: Eric on March 24, 2006 12:39 PM

Hang in there, Acidman. This loyal reader is behind you all the way, sending healing vibes through cyber-space. If OG figures out a way to send you extra poundage, I'll be happy to contribute.

Posted by: Mary on March 24, 2006 12:45 PM

Chicken soup and malted milk. Not at the same time, of course.

Posted by: Elisson on March 24, 2006 01:26 PM

I would suggest that you don't eat anything that makes you fart. Stay away from hen fruit and such as well as most veggies-especially green ones. Maybe some dry cereal and a little milk and pasta of some kind--hell you don't have to worry about getting fat. And if not for chicken soup god would not have made a nasty yard bird.

Posted by: GUYK on March 24, 2006 01:30 PM

I'll join Og in offering up my extra 35 pounds, if you want it. It's draggin' me down, I'd love to part with it...

Keep rantin', Rob - no curling up and tossing the 'Give-a-damn' out the window, okay!?

Posted by: Barb on March 24, 2006 01:44 PM

You'll be all right, A-Man. You survived a divorce with a bloodless cunt. This is nothing on that. Just hang tough, bitch all you want -- I'm still catching up on blogs (tech issues) so I certainly won't mind a bit more acid here at gutrumbles.

Posted by: Adam Lawson on March 24, 2006 02:06 PM

I knew there was a problem. Every time Rob shuts up, I start to get worried. As long as he's bitching, I can be sure he's healthy. I sweat a lot over a man I've never met.

Lamont

Posted by: Lamont Cranston on March 24, 2006 02:46 PM

After my abdominal hysterectomy, I was in the hospital for 7 days afterward due to an ileus, distention, and a freaky, unaccounted for fever.

Best thing for the tummy is to get up and walk. Those damn nurses made me get up and do laps around the ward to get my guts moving again (technical word is peristalsis). Better that than an NG tube!

Get up and move around, even if it hurts. The more you move and exercise, the better.

Also, like others said, low residue foods - even liquids/soups and some cans of Boost for nutrition would be helpful.

Don't lay around. That's the absolute worst thing for your tummy and for your lungs (I assume you had to do the spirometer blow-job thingie after you were de-tubed and sent it home with you. USE IT).

Best of luck, Rob. You'll survive this even as painful and suck as it is. You've survived far worse...

Posted by: Surfie on March 24, 2006 02:50 PM

Someone once observed that "seldom do members of the same family grow up under the same roof". Having followed your blog for some time, it seems to me that you have a large "family" that - without getting all gooshy about it - cares very deeply for you. You may not owe them a life ...but you do owe them. (And I, personally, would hate to see you go off to that Great Rant In The Sky. My life would be the less for it. ) But, it's your choice to go or stay. Choose well.

Posted by: A Lurker on March 24, 2006 03:31 PM

I was expecting another type of post (more commonly seen lately over at Elisson's place) when I read the title; I'm glad I was wrong about that but I'm sorry you're feeling icky too. I'm hoping you have a quick recovery and get your bite back... we miss it when you're not cranky and amusing. :)

Posted by: Lisa on March 24, 2006 04:24 PM

When you get back in that garden (and you will), all that muscle will come back and then some.

You had surgery - it will take at least six weeks to heal to where you feel like your old self....but each day you will feel better.

You went through rehab to stay alive. And now you've managed to do it through rehab AND surgery.

Give-A-Damn repair, at your service!

Posted by: A Different Kim on March 24, 2006 05:33 PM

CrackerBitch, you are still paying for past

sins. Recall all your past fun with your second

head? Take it like a man.

Posted by: TomCat on March 24, 2006 05:36 PM

If you know any jeish people, try talking them into making you some Matzo Ball soup...Best thing in the world for abdominal woes. I had a foster mom once who used to make it and it worked wonders...I think it's like the jewish chicken noodle soup. Besides all that though, you will eventually feel better...It just takes time and patience...Don't try to do so much at one time!

Posted by: Steph on March 24, 2006 05:54 PM

You don't know me, Mr. AcidMan, but I love your blog and I am rooting for you.

I've been lurking a while--even before you went to rehab.

You, sir, are an inspiration to many people who would probably never leave a comment.

I wish you well. And remember prayers work, even if the person you pray for doesn't know you're doing it!

Posted by: Ginger on March 24, 2006 05:59 PM

Progress may be slow - but it should should be in the forward direction.

If it seems like you're headed backwards, call the doc. Could be that they should tweak some meds - start/change antibiotics etc.

Don't let yourself get really in bad shape before you have someone take a look at you!

Hang in there -

Posted by: kam on March 24, 2006 06:10 PM

Look at this as an opportunity to eat your way back up again!! Lots of folks out here pulling for you...

Posted by: maxnnr on March 24, 2006 08:40 PM

Too bad you can't see your brain in that mirror cause thats stil in fine shape, the rest will take time.
As always,Treasa

Posted by: Treasa on March 24, 2006 09:27 PM

It's actually quite normal for you to be feeling a bit worse at this point (more pain). When they stitched up your innards they used disolvable sutures to hold everything in there together . At a about the week to 2 week mark (sometimes longer) those sutures begin to dissolve and it's now your body's responsibility to hold those things together which causes more pain since the sutures are no longer doing the job for you. While there has been some healing taken place those areas are now relying on that little bit of healed tissue to keep you intact while healthier skin seals the cuts. Give it time.
Best of luck and get well soon.
On a brighter note, maybe now that you've had this surgery you won't continue to be stricken with the belly pain like you used to be.
Put your feet up and take it easy.
Dawn

Posted by: Dawn on March 24, 2006 09:33 PM

What the others have said about chicken soup. Rob, I also gained weight in rehab, only to loose it afterwards with several abcessed teeth, one after t'other. I can relate to "For this I got sober?" Can't send any weight your way, you outweigh me by a pound. But this, too, shall pass, just hang in there. You'll be back farming in no time.

Posted by: Stu on March 24, 2006 09:58 PM

I got sober for this?

Look at the bright side. If you weren't sober you'd already be dead.

</tough love>

Posted by: McGehee on March 25, 2006 09:27 AM

I swear if I were closer to you, I'd bring you some home made chicken soup! I'm one of those "mostly lurking" readers, too. I read this daily. Hang in there. We all need our daily dose of acid, man!

Posted by: Shawna on March 25, 2006 09:44 AM

As with everyone above, I'm hoping like hell you get better soon and, for some fricken reason, have come to care for you. It's hell getting old, no doubt about it. As smokers, we heal a hell of a lot slower.

Put this in perspective for you. Even with the pain, you're still alive. Lately I've attended many a military funeral, with the youngest being 18. Yesterday, the hero was 19. They sacrificed their lives so you can live to piss and moan. Be thankful and get out of this depression. We need you!!!

Posted by: Cheryl on March 25, 2006 10:22 AM

If you can drink milk, go down to the local health food store and buyt a bottle of protein powder - usually mostly whey protein from milk. Make yourself a milkshake in your favorite flavor and add a couple of spoons of the powder. Do this at least one a day and two if you feel like it. good way to put protein back in the system and build yourself back up after surgery.
The other thing you might want to do is get some acidolfelous(intestinal bacteria) at the same health food store. It replaces the stuff that gets lost/killed during and after our surgery.

Posted by: emdfl on March 25, 2006 06:11 PM

Cowboy up A-man. You'll be ok.

My girlfriend and her 6 y/o son are sick though, so I'm taking them some of my homemade chicken noodle soup today.

It does cure everything.

Posted by: marcl on March 26, 2006 08:52 AM

Biscuits and gravy! Stat!

If you're too lazy to cook, places like Vitamin Shoppe have all sorts of fattening stuff for people in your situation.

Posted by: Steve H. on March 26, 2006 10:13 AM

Abdominal surgery is serious stuff, Rob. At your advanced age you f***ing whippersnapper, it's gonna take a while. My own experience: when I laid around, I got bronchitis and Dr chewed my ass, said pneumonia follows. So I made a point of walking around as much as I could bear. I lost 40+ #'s when my dear departed died, partly because I was AFU, partly because G-d that woman could cook!. Lost 20 # since this January different reason. (I'm 6', 2", weigh 160). Now on forced feeding at least 1 large Sonic milkshake a day, more often 2. Does your home AA group know you're sick? I was totally covered in care and love by my home group when my darlin died.

Don't drink. Read the Big Book. Go to meetings.

OT: Elmore Leonard's, "When the Women Come Out to Dance" has a story based in Harlan County, Ky. Nothing real specific, but you might recognize some places he mentions. I'll be happy to send you the book soon as I finish it if you want.

Posted by: Larry on March 26, 2006 01:19 PM

Along with the acidophilus and yogurt, try kefir, if you can find any. It's basically liquid yogurt -- Russians drink it for breakfast, and it's pretty filling. You can get it in all different flavors, and it tastes like a smoothie. Very soothing and full of good active cultures to replenish the little ecosystem in your gut.

Get well soon!

Posted by: Maureen on March 26, 2006 02:38 PM
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