Gut Rumbles
 

February 20, 2006

diseased bastards!!

That's IT! It's bad enough that cats kill baby birds, fuck and fight all night long with each other, leave footprints all over my freshly-washed car and turn some bloggers into cute-addled cretins. Now, cats are killing otters, too. The humanity!

Cat faeces carrying Toxoplasma parasites wash into US waterways and then into the sea where they can infect otters, causing brain disease.

That explains a LOT. Cat shit causes fatal brain disease in otters. I suspect that it does the same thing to humans, except instead of killing people, it just makes them brain-dead. Symptoms include emotional confusion, irrational behavior and an uncontrollable urge to take pictures of a cat and post them on the internet.

Piss on AIDS, Avian Flu, Alzheimer's Disease and even Toenail Fungus--- Feline Fuckard Syndrome is a TRUE menace to civilization as we know it. It's already an epidemic, ruining the brains of most Democrats, all environmentalists, the Ninth Circuit Court and laurence Simon. We must act and act NOW to stop this deadly scourge.

It's time to declare a Catwa.

If justification for a good jihad ever existed, this crisis is it. If we need to make a choice between the two animals, I say SAVE THE OTTERS! Otters rank FAR above cats in the "cute" category, they have better whiskers and they don't hack up hairballs on your carpet. This one is a pure no-brainer, just like people infected with Feline Fucktard Syndrome.

We MUST do it, For The Children-----Kill a cat today.

Comments

time to declare a catwa.....I just spewed coffee on my laptop.

Posted by: hoosierboy on February 20, 2006 08:36 AM

You do realise that you will at some point need to do a forth and fifth step on cats in general....

Posted by: Stu on February 20, 2006 09:26 AM

It's only OK to kill 'em if you're gonna use 'em as food.

"Eat a Pussy Today."

Posted by: Elisson on February 20, 2006 09:43 AM

I hear Wal-mart is going to start selling cats in their pet department. I'm glad to know there is now at least one reason to go to Wal-mart.

Posted by: Renee on February 20, 2006 12:53 PM

LOL AT Feline Fucktard Syndrome.

Posted by: Florida Bill on February 20, 2006 02:19 PM

WHile it's true I ain't fond of cats, I reserve a special place in hell for otters. I stock a pond, then they come eat all the fish out of it.

Pisses me off. They sucumb pretty easily to .22 fire.

Posted by: PawPaw on February 20, 2006 02:39 PM

You've prolly seen this already, but...

http://boortz.com/more/funny/redneck_pics_catcarrier.html

Posted by: MTGlass on February 20, 2006 04:33 PM

I still stand that well taken care of cats don't do these aforementioned things either. And very few people have no immunity to toxoplasmosis.

As for saving otters, they never sleep on my feet during those cold winter nights, they don't fetch my morning paper, and they certainly don't make me feel better when I get a case of "the vapors."

Alos for otters, the news story says they are getting this parasite from ingesting cat shit. Now what does that say for them?

Posted by: Steph on February 20, 2006 07:41 PM

Pawpaw, unlike my yard cats who leave the goldfish pond *and* the birds alone.

The secret to keeping the cats from marauding your little birdies is to *feed the cats*! I keep a big bin of cat food in my workshop for any and all comers. A well-fed cat is a very half-hearted hunter.

And if otters are eating cat shit, it serves them right, the filthy bastards.

Posted by: Desert Cat on February 21, 2006 02:38 PM

But the people who have been clubbing harp seals for decades, that's okay. Toxplasmosis kills a few otters. Harrumph.

And baby harp seals are damn cute! ;->

Posted by: Joni on February 22, 2006 12:00 AM
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