February 14, 2006
I think today makes 116 days since I last had a drink of alcohol. I think. I got good and drunk the night before I went into Willingway, which was October 21st, so you do the math. After 100 days, I quit keeping an exact count.
In reply to some commenters and emailers about the Austin blog meet: Yes. I believe that I CAN attend and NOT drink. Actually, I am flattered that you are concerned, because you seem to assume that I won't be drinking BEFORE then. Hell, that would make another 73 days or so, which is more than half-again my current record.
But I don't like to think that far ahead. I've made it this far by deciding not to drink TODAY. The TODAYs add up after a while, and that's the way I intend to keep going. I believe that you can talk yourself right into a big slip if you start thinking in terms of months or years or.... forever. That's just too damned depressing for someone who loves alcohol as much as I do.
But it doesn't love me back. I'm better off staying divorced from that bitch. And I will--- at least for TODAY.
I still crave a drink from time to time. In fact, I cannot recall a single day since I left Willingway that I didn't at least think about taking a drink. But it's not as bad as it was at first. It's no longer a wild beast caged in my belly and clawing at my guts for hours at a time. The cravings come less frequently and they aren't as strong now. But I still have 'em.
I don't want to stumble after I've come this far. If I didn't believe that I could resist temptation in Austin, I wouldn't go. But I think I can. I'll start by NOT drinking that first DAY. Besides, I want to make a good impression on people I've never met, and that will be EVERYBODY who comes.
Even the people I've met before have never seen me sober.
Plus it's one less thing (and a BIG ONE, at that) that THE bitch can't use against you with Quinton.
You took some ammo away from her attacks against you.
That should provide some additional incentive and SATISFACTION for you.
I thank god I never had the love for alcohol some in my family do. Stopping smoking was hard enough. I can't imagine what you must go through, and don't want to.
One day at a time, man.
You have the right perspective, Man of Acid. I
like the country music song "One Day at a
Time, Sweet Jesus."
Don't worry darlin, you won't be the only sober one there, remember, I don't drink either. I know you can do it, I met you sober, which is probably a good thing. I think if I had met you drunk, I probably woulda killed you.
Sober, you are a real sweetheart.
i'm 100 percent sober too ... but since i don't think i'll be going to austin (i gotta save up for nashville this july), think of me as being there in spirit with you and sending awesome sober vibes your way.
Congratulations on your sobriety! You definitely have the right idea...one day at a time.
Hangin tough, looming large!! Way to go A-man!
Something you said in this posting really helped me get over a HUGE bump in my road today. I've been thinking in terms of forever and that has just about killed me......thanks for the reminder to break it down to one day at a time.
Keep adding to your TODAY's acidman and I'll keep adding to mine.
Congrats, Acidman!! You are an inspiration!
You ARE da (acid) MAN!
Seriously, I began reading just before you went into treatment and I'm so glad for you that you have been able to have 116 "todays".
I guess you know it's been a long time when you stop keeping exact count! LOL!
Have a great "today", Rob!
As one of the folks who saw you and talked to you at your worst, I can't wait to see you at your best. Bet the conversation will be far more fun this time!
Every morning I wake up & the monster reminds me he's there. He says "C'mon, just one to take the edge off". Nope I say. Not today.
I have successfully fought off the monster every day since May 9th (so far). I've been stronger than he is. So far. Sometimes I wonder when that particular quality will fail me. Sooner or later, maybe.
But not today.
I always tell myself that.
I met you when you we were both pretty sober, we had a great dinner and plenty of beer and conversation (thanks again for your generous hospitality) and we were both kinda tipsy when we all parted for our cars. And I very damned near got a DUI in your hometown that night (far away from mine) if you remember. And I know at the time I thought we were of exact like mind. But you've overcome that kinda scary crap, and I've been thinking lately that it's about my time now too. I still push that shit way too hard sometimes and it's gonna have to stop for me too.
This post was an inspiration for me, at just exactly the right time. Thanks Rob and keep it up! I'm following you and taking notes on how you're doing it, which seems to be quite well!