Gut Rumbles
 

February 12, 2006

got no use for it

Last night, I went to see mike cross play at the fabulous randy wood concert hall in beautiful, bucholic Bloomingdale, Georgia. I first saw Mike almost 30 years ago when he played at the Night Flight Cafe on River Street in Savannah. He has gained about 70 pounds since those days, but he still puts on a good show.

The Randy Wood Concert Hall is a small 105-seat room next door to his guitar shop and behind a restaurant that serves barbecued fried rice. (I am NOT making that shit up.) Last night was the second concert I've seen there and I really like the place. The acoustics are great and there's not a bad seat in the house. Nice, intimate atmosphere.

Mike Cross is a songwriter, guitarist and fiddle player who could make a living as a stand-up comic if he ever got tired of music. If you ever have the chance to see him play, take it. He'll keep you laughing when you aren't tapping your toes to his tunes.

But the concert isn't what I want to talk about. Lemme tell you about the weather. The Great February Blizzard that is laying some serious Global Warming on the northeast decided to drag her skirt through southeast Georgia during the concert. Mike Cross played for almost two hours last night, and while I was watching inside, the temperature dropped about 30 degrees outside.

It was colder than a well-digger's ass sitting on a witch's tit while the balls froze off a brass monkey by the time the show was over. I wanted to hang around and talk to a fellow blogger I met there, but we were shivering in the wind and our friendly chat quickly turned to dental chatter, so we went our separate ways before we froze our buttocks off. Maybe next time.

The high temperature was 48 degrees with gale-force winds in sunny downtown Rincon today, and this frigid crap is supposed to last for another couple of days. I don't like it already. The possibility of snow flurries tonight is in the forecast, but I don't believe it. It doesn't feel like snow to me. (Heh. Read Jimbo's post about the computer desk from hell, too.) It just feels cold, and I've got no use for it.

A week ago, I was planning on starting on my garden. Now, I'm worried about the cover blowing off my hot tub and the water in there freezing, even with the heater on. No gardening for now. The low temperature is supposed to be around 26 degrees tonight and the high tomorrow a mere 45. Down to 21 tomorrow night.

FUCK THIS!

It's times like these when I miss having someone to share my bed--- not for sex, but for warmth. This is supposed to be the Sunny South, for cryin' out loud, not suck-ass Siberia. It's too farking cold to screw, even with a bionic pecker. I don't know how you got-dam yankees stand it where you live. But I'm beginning to feel a certain amount of kinship with you.

No wonder your dispositions are usually so foul.

Comments

It never got out of the teens here today and of course theres this little issue of 22" of snow that fell on Connecticut (and most of the northeast)

Good old global warming....(I dont know how much more of it I could take)

Why earlier today (as the snow was piling up higher and higher on my window ledge) I was seriously thinking of doing some WRITING to pass the time....I sat down and began to type, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" After a few stacks of that, I went and broke out the tennis balls.....and when I tired of that, I went and saw Lloyd at the bar....

Posted by: Ruth on February 12, 2006 07:02 PM

It's like spring here.
In the high 60s.
We California/ wierdos/Yankees cry when it gets to be 45 degrees at night and dress all in flannel.
I'm serious!
I have no CLUE how I would live in the cold.

But the Randy Wood Concert Hall sounds like a wonderful place!

Posted by: A Different Kim on February 12, 2006 07:31 PM

Don't worry Rob ... the South shall thaw again. And when it does, plant some sweet basil for me, will ya?

Posted by: Erica the Damn Yankee on February 12, 2006 07:33 PM

Good Lord, Crackerman, you're only cold because you don't have any anti-freeze coursing through your veins.

In weather like you've got I'm wearing a short sleeved shirt and a windbreaker. Parkas are for when it gets below 0F.

It's all mind over matter. If you don't mind, it don't matter.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on February 12, 2006 08:26 PM

If it's Global Warming, why are you cold? Seems your being a little insensitive (YOU bastard!) to our liberal friends here. Put on a sweater and buck up or simply jump in the hot tub and when you get out you will be "Globally Comfortable".

Posted by: Rumbear on February 12, 2006 08:34 PM

Bah, you don't know what cold/snow is. We got effing 6-8 inches over the weekend here in Western NC, and my wife had a baby in the middle of it. Talk about a pain in the ass/bad time for snow. Snow rocks, long as you don't have an emergency situation. Makes all the trees purty in the winter.

Posted by: Buddy on February 12, 2006 09:34 PM

I agree....This weather here is nice...I lived in Minot ND and THAT was cold. I am also miserable after 75 degrees...Any hotter and I start to go bad...Like mayonnaise.

Posted by: Steph on February 12, 2006 09:53 PM

Are you saying I have a foul disposition darlin? Hahaha, imagine putting up with that cold and snow for 9 months!
Cold weather is good for snuggling, that's why we have so many babies born in the fall around here.
You don't need an extra body to keep you warm, you are a hotbox when you sleep!

Posted by: Livey on February 12, 2006 10:36 PM

Ahhh, well, lets see ... for all you're always raggin' on California, I just got back from a 3 mile hike around town with son-in-law ( who should be in his F-18 somewhere between Crete and Portugal right now -- He's DONE in Iraq for now!!!)'s mom & my CA daughter who are all training for a family marathon in July -- 66 degrees at 7 pm and by a half mile into the walk we were all out of our sweatshirts and down to our tank tops ... FULL moon -- almost as bright as when I was in SC, scents of jasmine and orange blossoms in the air ... We DO have 4 or 5 perfect days a year out here and this was one of them. (Of course we haven't had any winter to speak of and will pay later. I'm about ready to take the flannel sheets off, but that will guarantee a cold spell!) Now I think I'll grab a glass of juice and go sit in MY hot tub!!
Beaufort daughter reports that her outdoor plants froze last night and she's awfully glad that she didn't set her pea seedlings out yet.

Posted by: Marianne on February 12, 2006 11:43 PM

Try sunny Tucson. It was 81 today (that's what my car said), and you'll have PLENTY of opportunity to practice your spanish!

Posted by: Cythen on February 13, 2006 01:22 AM

It was at least 85 degrees here at the beach in Playa del Rey (SW Los Angeles). It's almost midnight right now and it's still about 70. I can even still hear speed boats out in the canal. THIS is the place to be in the winter months!!

Posted by: DogsDontPurr on February 13, 2006 01:44 AM

Do you know the origin of 'colder than a well-digger's ass" and 'colder than the balls on a brass monkey"?

Posted by: Patsy on February 13, 2006 04:33 AM

Marianne? can I get in the hot tub with you? I am freezing here

Posted by: Murry on February 13, 2006 04:40 AM

Heh, I am a weather wimp. It's been really cold here. I wish I were a kid again. It doesn't seem to bother them. Rob, FYI...I saw on the news this morning it's supposed to get down to 25F tonight.

Posted by: Moogie on February 13, 2006 07:18 AM

You could always come to San Diego and "suffer" through the summery weather we currently must endure.

Oh, the hardships of paradise. It's a burden we must bear.

Posted by: Da Goddess on February 13, 2006 12:39 PM

"I don't know how you got-dam yankees stand it where you live. But I'm beginning to feel a certain amount of kinship with you.

No wonder your dispositions are usually so foul."

Why that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. And I ain't gonna forget it. In fact, I'm printing it out and hanging it up next to my bumber sticker.

Posted by: Jane on February 13, 2006 03:35 PM

The well diggers ass is self-explanatory the deeper you dig the colder it gets. At least for a ways. The brass monkey was a brass plate used to stack cannon balls on board sailing vessels. It had a group of depressions that the first layer of cannonballs sat in to prevent them from rolling and then you stacked more layers of them pyramid style. Brass was used since it wouldn't rust to the cannonballs. When it gets cold enough the brass monkey shrinks more than the cannonballs and they roll off. Freezing the balls off a Brass Monkey!

Posted by: Rey on February 13, 2006 09:03 PM
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