Gut Rumbles

December 31, 2005

that would explain john mccain

I don't put much stock in surveys such as this one, but I'll report the results just because my state didn't come in dead last. What is the DUMBEST state in the Union?

Arizona, according to the survey. I don't know how California missed taking that coveted prize, but I suppose that dumbassery counted more than assholery in the rankings. (I still believe that if we were going to give the United States of America an enema, we'd stick the butt-plug in California. The competition ain't even close, even with Massachusetts in the running.)

Of course, I wonder just how measurable some of the alleged criteria were for "recognition" in the survey.

The Smartest State Award recognizes those states that are committed to students and teachers, emphasize excellence in the classroom and ensure that public elementary and secondary schools are efficiently-run," said Scott Morgan, president of Morgan Quitno Press.

They also considered "positive outcomes," whatever the fuck that means. It all sounds like a lot of pure, rarefied gobbledegook to me, but what do I know? I live in the 40th smartest state.

Vermont ranked #1. Isn't that state the home of jumping jim jeffords, who demonstrated his intellectual acumen and political integrity by sticking a wetted finger in the air and mistaking which way the wind was blowing? Don't the winged dungbats ben and jerry live there? VERMONT is the smartest state in the union?

I call bullshit.


If 'assholery' were the marker, California would indeed come in number one (and I'm not discounting myself). However, don't forget that this state has elected three Republican governors in the last twenty or so years, RINOs though some of them may be.

Happy (Sober) New Year, Darling.

Posted by: Juliette on December 31, 2005 03:11 PM

Yeah... well... I do have to interject here: everyone in Arizona is from somewhere else... just sayin'.


Shell in Sunny Arizona.

Posted by: Pie Shell on December 31, 2005 03:17 PM

Also McCain isn't from Arizona. Also noticed that most of the states in the top 10 seem to be left wing types. Have to wonder what the criteria was for determining the intelligence of each state. They say several things but considering that this is probably done by leftist asshole in the first place for whom feel good measures count the most.

Posted by: RayH on December 31, 2005 03:42 PM

"I call bullshit. " Good call. My bullshit meter is pegged, too. AZ is a shithole outside the metros, but the rest of this is BS.

Posted by: Larry on December 31, 2005 03:50 PM

Nine out of the top 10 are "Blue" states. I definitely call bullshit!

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on December 31, 2005 05:20 PM

Nice to see my next-door-neighbors are #5 on the list! We must be rubbing off on them :)

Posted by: Lisa on December 31, 2005 05:41 PM

AZ's a shithole even IN the metros. Possibly even worse IN the metros. AZ is best when you are as far from the metros, and the towns, as you can be. I see Oregon is 38th. That's probably much higher than it should be. Portland has more dumbasses per square inch than Eugene. And Eugene has more dumbasses per square inch than Vermont, i guarantee.

Posted by: pril on December 31, 2005 08:37 PM

Which state elected Howling Howard governor?

Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.

Posted by: Bogdaddy on January 1, 2006 09:24 AM

I excused the AZ metros based on 35-40 year-old experience of terrorizing the natives during Friday night stops at Williams, Luke and D-M when I was a USAF pilot. Guess they've changed, huh?

Posted by: Larry on January 1, 2006 01:39 PM

"Smartest State" based on what is essentially a high willingness to pour funds down that shitholesinkhole known as "public education"? What's smart about that?

Arizona happens to robustly support private schools through a dollar for dollar tax credit for individual donations to private schools. We can donate up to something like $825 to the private school of our choice, and that total comes right off our state tax bill. On top of that, it also counts as a tax deduction for federal purposes, for a net gain. It is the only way I know of to actually get more money out of the tax system than you paid in.

Since it focused on "public" education I'm certain the survey didn't take *that* into account!

Posted by: Desert Cat on January 2, 2006 12:56 AM

What Desert Cat said. Pre-defined public education goals, set by the education unions and hyped without question by the media, now used to measure which states are smart. Cute.

Posted by: JPatterson on January 2, 2006 06:38 AM
Post a comment

*Note: If you are commenting on an older entry, your
comment will not appear until it has been approved.
Do not resubmit it.