Gut Rumbles
 

December 24, 2005

another sign of old age?

I really don't like crowds. That's why I seldom go to football games, concerts, big parties, the beach or amusement parks anymore. The enjoyment I get just isn't worth putting up with a swarm of people around me. I value my personal space today.

That's why my results on this stupid test don't surprise me.

Your score indicates that you prefer a rural atmosphere to an urban one and low land intensity. Youíre no hermit though; you like other people and, once you start talking to them, other people like you. As far as youíre concerned there is no difference between living in a city and living in a suburb, not that you would want to do either because youíre probably a bit scared of cities in the first place.

I'm not "scared" of cities. I just don't like being a sardine in a can, which is how I feel when I'm in a big crowd. I'm not an anti-social person, either. In fact, I am quite charming and loquacious when I want to be. I just prefer to socialize in more intimate situations than, say... St. Patrick's Day in Savannah. I would rather live in a 10' X 10' shack in the woods than live in downtown Atlanta.

Just call me the UnaCracker.

Comments

Having done it once, I would rather live anywhere than Atlanta.

Posted by: Libby on December 25, 2005 10:56 AM

I had rather live in a leaky tent in the Amazon then downtown any damn place

Posted by: GUYK on December 25, 2005 11:07 AM

No, I can't figure out where I want to live - I have to ask the experts where I am best suited to live. Then I found out that I, too, was scared of the city. More likely the city is scared of me, given the looks I get when I visit there - not to mention the arrests.

Two of my kids strongly suspected that I was the Unibomber. They were not kidding. But since then I've been born-again, and now truely love WalMart. Moreover, I'm coming to despise "endangered" species - not that it's their fault:

Some others and I own the only private property along an X mile stretch of a Wild and Senic River, which is now a controlled "corridor" of wild and senicdom soon to replicate the Garden of Eden.

Recently I noticed one of my partners trying to remove some logs from a fairly large natural log jam in the River. Given the inherent futility of such an action, I had no idea what he was doing - until I realized that that was indeed what he was trying to do, so as to help the Salmon get up the River to spawn. Believe me, the Salmon can get around and under this log jam without any help. And it is illegal to significantly manipulate the River within the corrider anyway - though your Federal Government does exactly that on other categories of Public Rivers in order to "save" the Rivers.

Meanwhile, it is also illegal to cut down even a dead tree within our Wild and Senic corridor - except for within our private property, which my partner has also managed to selectively log - with my concurrence. You can't really tell the difference.

But when the catastrophic fire comes to the corridor due to the prohibition there on selective logging, there won't be anything left to save.

At the same time my partner has reportedly caught and eaten members of another "endangered" species, the XXX Trout, which he also fought to "protect". This is also illegal.

Needless to say, he is a Rabid Environmentalist. He also fears Bush's Dictatorship but at one time performed the most abortions per man-hour of anyone in the World.

What scares me about the Wilds are the Environmentalists. For now, due to the fact that the private property I live on is within the Wild and Senic Corrider, the Secretary of Agriculture can condemn my property at any time "for the good of the Environment" - an act which could be triggered by my partner's suspected shenanigans.

Then I will be Homeless and have to move to the city. Strangely, there are no Homeless in the Wilderness. Does the term "ecological niche" ring a bell among any of the budding Environmentalists out there? I hope not, because then the Homeless will become a protected species, and I for one do not want to be protected by those practicing the Religion of The Salmon and XXX Trout. Those saving me would probably end up eating me too.

Posted by: Protected Source on December 25, 2005 02:38 PM

This is the advantage of knowing your own mind. What the test describes for me is exactly the area in which I'm living.

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on December 27, 2005 10:09 PM
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