August 02, 2005
I have some old stuff that I picked up from mama's house that I want to give to Quinton. He called me tonight and I told him that I would bring it over tomorrow.
I'll probably end up just hanging it on his doorknob because he won't be home, but that's okay. I want him to have it.
He's ten years old. One of the things in the Care Package is an old scrapbook. On the front page, it says "Robbie Smith's Sports Memory Book." I started clipping and pasting articles from the newspaper about my games when I was ten years old. I kept it up all the way through intramural sports in college. I have a lot of neat stuff in there.
Quinton may not appreciate it now, but if he keeps it safe, he will treasure it some fine day. It may be something he wants to show MY grandchildren years down the pike, when I'm long gone.
I also have my high-school letters in there (I was a multi-sport jock) and I put together something I believe is beautiful. It's first a picture of my father holding ME and beaming with pride when I was six months old. Next to it is a picture of ME, holding Quinton when he was six months old. I added this caption:
"Daddy's always love their sons."
I hope Jennifer doesn't throw that away.
Rob, if I were you I'd arrange a time to hand it to him personally. Knowing Jennifer, she'd toss it the minute she saw that it used to belong to her. At least if you hand the items to Quinton, if she decides to throw them away out of spite later on, the blame will fall solely on her.
Trust me, I was raised by a divorced mother and I know how spiteful they can be.
oops, make that "used to belong to you."
That is too precious to entrust to any 10-year old, let alone one living with someone who hates you.
Let him look at it at your house, but please don't give it to him now.
Yeah, I'd suggest waiting a bit before giving it to him. Maybe you couild show it to him now, but hold off on giving it to him, especially considering the situation.
Fuck that. Give it to him anyway, send it certified mail at least then someone will have to sign for it. If the BC gets rid of it he will find out one way or the other. The blame still falls on her shoulders.
You might want to dole that kind of stuff out a bit at a time - maybe wait till he gets in junior high or high school and playing sports at that level has a personal meaning for him as well - he'll be able to have something to relate to with you then. And if I were you, I'd go to Kinko's and make copies of everything first. Won't hurt.
What I'd definitely give him NOW is the picture of you holding him.
Sad to say I agree with the comments above.
I was just thinking the other day how much good stuff we kids trashed before we understood it couldn't be replaced, in fact a lot of it I didn't miss until years later
Take a copy of the pictures if you can, then give him the originals of those. Hold the rest for a few years more but mark em out as his somehow in case you end up dead some how
Yep, I gotta agree with most people here. Hang on to that scrapbook for a little while longer.
I agree on this one: give him the daddy pictures, but hold on to the scrapbook until he's away from momma. Maybe make some copies of some of the scrapbook stuff and let him know that the original is at your place any time he wants to see it.
And... normally I wouldn't nitpick on grammar, but something like this should be done right:
"Daddies always love their sons."
I think about you and your son, Rob. I truly hope things work out for the best in the long run. Keep up the struggle -- it counts for a lot if he knows that you're fighting for him. Whatever the BC might be saying about you, you just make sure that he knows that much.